Big Issue vendor broke my heart.

[Deleted]

Every day either after gym or work I have to walk through town to get home. And everyday for the past year or so I've been seeing an elderly woman selling Big Issue magazines on a very busy area (I'm assuming she's Romanian because she is dead on stereotype). For those who don't know the Big Issue magazines, it's a magazine that poor people buy in the UK with their own money and try to make a return on it by selling it in the streets.

Last week I sat alone in a coffee shop for a good 30-40 minutes looking out the window. This may be rude but I couldn't help but watch her. She looked absolutely disheartened showing her big issue to what would have been a good 1000 people the time I was drinking my coffee. Not one single person gave her a penny. I can't even imagine how much she makes a day, and an ignorant side of me doesn't want to know because it would probably depress me and only make me feel more guilty. I felt like I should probably give her a bit of money, but even that made me feel terrible. Even if I gave her 10£, I know she'd still be at it for a long time, if not for the rest of her life.

And that's not even the whole story. Today I finished work, and I saw her once again, only in a very empty street on my way to the gym. She was just sitting on some steps crying her eyes out on her own. I've gotta say I've never felt so heartbroken and helpless in my life. I couldn't feel more sorry for her and got me thinking of how jaded we've all become in helping people in her shoes.

Have you ever felt something similar? How would you deal with such a situation?

[Symphonic]

That's such a sad story. It's hard to imagine what some people go through in order to live.

[Blueobelisk]

I really thought this was going to be that you asked her out and she rejected you.

[Calzaeth]

In the part of Norway where I live, there is a street magazine called Asfalt, which is sold by drug addicts/former drug addicts wanting to turn their life around. They buy the magazines in bulk for 50NOK each (around 8USD) and resell them for 100NOK (16USD). It used to be 25/50, but economics happened.

I ALWAYS buy these, on principle, even if I have that particular issue already. Because these people make an honest effort to get a better life, and they WORK for it. They could have sat their ass down on a random corner with a hat/cup in front of them, but instead they sell magazines and interact with their customers. And, yes, I have left sellers with tears in my eyes after hearing their stories.

So. Why didn't you buy Big Issue, again?

[-aiko-]

Befriend her. You don't need to treat her like a charity case/give her money but maybe she just needs someone to talk to.

[Deleted]

In the part of Norway where I live, there is a street magazine called Asfalt, which is sold by drug addicts/former drug addicts wanting to turn their life around. They buy the magazines in bulk for 50NOK each (around 8USD) and resell them for 100NOK (16USD). It used to be 25/50, but economics happened.

I ALWAYS buy these, on principle, even if I have that particular issue already. Because these people make an honest effort to get a better life, and they WORK for it. They could have sat their ass down on a random corner with a hat/cup in front of them, but instead they sell magazines and interact with their customers. And, yes, I have left sellers with tears in my eyes after hearing their stories.

So. Why didn't you buy Big Issue, again?

To be honest (and I'm not trying to justify anything) I don't think I'm solving any problems by buying a magazine, definitely not in the long term anyway. On top of that I think to some degree I don't like being seen buying these magazines... I genuinely don't know why. Which gets me back to my point about society being jaded, myself included. When I do give poor people money I tend to just want to give them the money and walk away, I feel uncomfortable hanging around and trying to muster up some chitchat :/ even though I know in many cases this is appreciated on their part.

[Shadowmelded]

What I usually do is give the people the money for the issue and tell them to hold on to it and make up some excuse about being environmentally friendly and not wanting to waste paper (lightheartedly obviously otherwise it could come across as pity). I don't always buy one if I'm out but that's usually because I don't notice or I'm in too much of a hurry to stop and spend a couple of minutes talking.

[Tradewind]

Honestly this sounds like an awful method. In the city here there's a homeless newspaper, which is actually not bad sometimes, it's totally free to me and the homeless people distributing it, they make their money from ads and pay their carriers both wages and per paper.

[Calzaeth]

To be honest (and I'm not trying to justify anything) I don't think I'm solving any problems by buying a magazine, definitely not in the long term anyway. On top of that I think to some degree I don't like being seen buying these magazines... I genuinely don't know why. Which gets me back to my point about society being jaded, myself included. When I do give poor people money I tend to just want to give them the money and walk away, I feel uncomfortable hanging around and trying to muster up some chitchat :/ even though I know in many cases this is appreciated on their part.

That's the thing. There is no single solution to their problem, but every buyer is a part of the solution. Cliché as it sounds, you can be a part of the solution by bying that magazine. And if people see you buy it, so what? What is there to embarassed about? "Oh, no, I made someone's day better, this must never be known?"?

[Tulune]

It's too early for sad things

Next time you see her, offer to take her to that coffee shop you were at and buy her a meal. Chat with her, see if you can be any help to her. If you have any local churches or other charitable places, alert them to her suffering.