Is it Ever OK to Snoop on Your Partner?

[Deleted]

Not for me, if I suspect she is cheating on me id confront her and break it off.
If she wants to snoop trough my phone or computer or follow me around she is more then welcome to.. I have nothing to hide .

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Let me show you something:

http://www.mmo-champion.com/threads/...heated+on+your

Over 20% of the people on these forums for example have admitted to cheating on their partners. Are those odds you are willing to blindly trust?

Im pretty sure alot of the votes are troll's like you have in any other poll.
But that being said if it actually is 20% I am still not worried seeing im a 100% sure mine wont cheat on me as she had an ex that did it to her and she knows the feeling it gives.
That is not something you want to do to your partner.

[Joozt]

Over 20% of the people on these forums for example have admitted to cheating on their partners. Are those odds you are willing to blindly trust?

Thats called a relationship... your opening yourself up for an other person.. trusting them.. sharing feelings..
Just like they do to you.. they could just as easly get hurt.

If the relationship is good it is not likely people will cheat...
if the sex gets boring talk about it and try new shit...

The mostly time someone will cheat is because they don't feel trusted, neglected or not loved
Every relationship has its ups and down and especially in the downs you can find out if the other person really cares..
Which you can only find out if you talk about stuff

[Deleted]

Oh dear god, just reminded me of a time my ex gf followed me to a shopping centre (we were dating at the time obv), was pretty embarassing after I met up with my best friend (a guy) and went to see a movie... She sent me a text later asking me who all these people I spoke to were.

Was pretty much a deal breaker since I wasn't even considering cheating on her, just wanted to see a movie!!!!

So no, snooping around isn't ever OK, if you have concerns talk to your other half without making some mad accusations right off the bat.

[Deleted]

That's the thing, nothing is 100% in this world. I was sure for 6 years that I had found my life partner, until she went to study abroad and month later told me she wants to see other people.

So you know how it feels, would you do it to another person?

[Deleted]

Why would I do it to anyone? I have my honor, the problem is that nobody else seems to have any.

Edit: ohh you mean the snooping or the cheating?

cheating.
As you said you thought you had a life partner and she moves away and wants to see other people.

I have had a long distance relationship where we both lived in a different country for almost 2 years.
And I am 100% sure me or the gf won't be cheating on each other, because if I wanted to do it I would have done it while we were 600 miles apart.

[ItachiZaku]

Not if you trust them, so if you feel the need... might as well move on.

[derpkitteh]

i wouldn't snoop, but i wouldn't mind if my partner did. it would be comforting to know they love me enough to feel such concern.

[Deleted]

If you feel it needed to snoop on your partner then you should prob not be in the relationship anymore.

This, pretty much.

No, it is never ok to snoop on your partner.
That said, my phone - for example - can only be unlocked by my PIN/fingerprint anyway, so they would not even get the chance to snoop there.

[Deleted]

It's also the easiest way to spot out the people who have something to hide.

I have nothing to hide.
But you can fuck off if you think that entitles you to invade my privacy.


And you either trust me or you don't. If you have to have "proof" there is no trust and any relationship is pointless and I'd end it immediately.

[Gmollster11]

And the reason there are so many divorces, single parents, bad relationships is because......

Too many folks are simply dishonest and unwilling to be committed.

First date - no need to snoop. Committed relationship - it's full transparency or go home.

[Xcal]

It depends if they give you reasonable suspicion. My current woman doesn't so I have no need to and it would violate her trust if I did. But if I caught her in multiple lies like where she has been then I would since she violated my trust first

[Deleted]

First date - no need to snoop. Committed relationship - it's full transparency or go home.

I disagree. Having some privacy is fine, even in a relationship.

That said, I don't get how snooping in someone's phone is still a thing. Don't people use PIN codes/touch ID on iPhones for unlocking - and if so, why tell anyone?

[Lotus Victoria]

I wouldn't like and my answer is a no, but I got nothing to hide, so my gf can snoop all day if she wants.

[NoRest4Wicked]

If my gf asked to see my phone, I would give it to her. Because I have nothing to hide, I would still be angry at her for thinking I had something to hide though. I would never snoop through her phone or her email (which I can auto fill log into on my computer) because it's fucking shady to do so. People have a right to privacy, even from their SO.

Relationships I've been on and had been cheated on I knew it was going on. If you don't know, you're probably not a very good partner for a relationship anyways. That's something you can definitely pick up on.

[Xcal]

If my gf asked to see my phone, I would give it to her. Because I have nothing to hide, I would still be angry at her for thinking I had something to hide though. I would never snoop through her phone or her email (which I can auto fill log into on my computer) because it's fucking shady to do so. People have a right to privacy, even from their SO.

Relationships I've been on and had been cheated on I knew it was going on. If you don't know, your probably aren't a very good partner for a relationship anyways. That's something you can definitely pick up on.

Exactly and I want to add people who don't trust their partner are the ones usually cheating too.

[Super Kami Dende]

I've never had anything to hide from my Partners and I trust they don't have anything to hide from me.
THough if they do start acting suss, instead of snooping I just straight up confront them. I find it easy to pick apart people's lies in person. It isn't too hard to get into the head of a cheater, since if they are cheaters they've already proven they are stupid enough to be manipulated.

[oplawlz]

I guess if you have a valid reason to - like, you know they are cheating.

Then you should just leave. Even if it turns out they arent cheating, at that point you obviously don't trust them- relationship over, nothing to see here, move along.

[Lodreh]

I guess if you have a valid reason to - like, you know they are cheating.

See my issue with this reasoning is it never ends. By checking their phone or internet history you are basically saying you don't trust them... regardless if you find something or not. If you don't trust, you don't respect... and without respect you don't have love... you may have comfort or pity... but not love. So if you ever have the need to "snoop" then just leave. The trust is already broken.

[Itisamuh]

See my issue with this reasoning is it never ends. By checking their phone or internet history you are basically saying you don't trust them... regardless if you find something or not. If you don't trust, you don't respect... and without respect you don't have love... you may have comfort or pity... but not love. So if you ever have the need to "snoop" then just leave. The trust is already broken.

I think people are way too naive on this. Getting obsessively paranoid is obviously bad, but there is nothing wrong with checking things out if you have reason to suspect. If you "snoop" and your findings indicate that you were wrong to suspect, then great, you can move forward with renewed confidence. If your "snooping" confirms your suspicions, you were right to check. Blindly trusting, ignoring anything that should be a possible cause for concern, is foolish. As is bailing before you even checked things out.

[Lodreh]

I think people are way too naive on this...

Here's the thing... "reason to suspect"... in what healthy relationship does the partner ever give you that? Relationships are built on trust. If you "have" to snoop and don't find anything... how long does that last? Maybe you missed something. Maybe they are better at hiding what they are doing. Can't you see it's a never ending trap? As long as that suspicion is there it's going to taint the relationship. Better to get out if you ever have "reason to suspect" because you don't trust them so you can't love them.

Unless of course you are the jealous type that views your partner as a possession... not as a person.