I would say she is old enough to make the decision. I would just make sure you prepare her for the environment should she choose to go. In all honesty jail is a reality, I don't think it is a good idea to shelter children too hard from reality, especially if it won't really hurt them (which I highly doubt it will). If anything it will show her there are consequences for poor decisions, as well as humans can make mistakes, pay for them, and grow from it. On a side note, it will probably help your wife, if she wants your daughter to visit her (I would probably talk to both to ensure both want it).
Either way, I wouldn't force the situation, just adequately prepare.