Why does an MMO have to be those things? Your desire to put things in a box is very limiting, and makes for really bad ideas.
If you were to ask what is an MMO prior to the conception of WoW, vs what it is now... you'd get very different answers.
Point being, we should encourage the evolution of a genre. MMO simply stands for massively multiplayer online... every game out there fits that build (technically).
Which is my we have different names emerging, MMOFPS, MMORPG. Would KOTOR been as successful as it was if it had been a "traditional" RPG? I don't think so, in fact I would say that it was BECAUSE it was different that it was so successful.
Its a really petty argument anyway... play it or don't play. What difference does it make.
For example myself... I don't like MMOs... I like WoW but I don't care for the MMO "genre".
I remember seeing this video on the WCIII disc.
I didn't care what it was... I wanted to be part of it. I check the Blizzard website like every week for news on WoW and playing the beta was my first experience with an MMO. I showed it to my friend and he tried to get me to play City of Heroes, Everquest, Conan, Guild Wars, Warhammer MMO,... I've actually picked up quite a few over the years and I never last longer than the initial 30 days. SWTOR... I played to the original level cap but that is probably my second most played MMO. The point here is they all bring something different to the table, and some stay very true to the rigid MMORPG you want MMO to defined as. Its those that deviate from that, that tend to be better than the others.