Thaag Tidestalker, CEO of Thaag-0-Matic™ BoomKrafting LLC

[Thaag]

If puberty wasn't bad enough, murlocs crawled out of the ocean one night and onto her Clan's fishing fleet (composed mostly of rafts, canoes, kayaks, and catamarans), killing most of the Clan and scattering the rest. Kalei, her brother, harpooned several of the fiends alongside Papa 'Olelo, while Mama Pualani sprayed noxious powders on the others with the help of the eldest daughter LeVeau. Thaag huddled in the hull of the family's catamaran with Kalei's twin sister Blivi and the little Kehau-lani, with a threshadon fang in each fist. Luckily, the fangs stayed dry that night.

After the battle, Papa 'Olelo made words with the new Chief Vol'Jin and the strange green men who came in huge, sailed canoes the like Thaag had never seen. The green men seemed nice, although watching them chop through murlocs still made her a bit scared of them. Papa 'Olelo told the family he'd agreed to help the green men find their way to a faraway land which the ancient sea charts said was there. Thaag had her doubts: those sea charts had been copied from older charts, and on and on into antiquity, and there was no knowing whether a stupid scribe had added something to it. Papa 'Olelo insisted he had seen the land when he was barely as old as Kalei and Blivi, when he and his father had been blown off their whale-hunting route by a typhoon. He said they were afraid to land, but it proved the charts right.

And so it did. However, the beautiful islands proved too dangerous for the Tidestalkers, and they said "Eff this" (a Zandali term for "Eff this") and decided to sail to Ratchet where goblins didn't put up with voodoo witch doctors performing mind control wars.

'Olelo worked for Gazlowe who, although rather mistrustful of trolls in general, was impressed with the old troll's knowledge of the sea and made him the chief navigator on the shipping line with Booty Bay. Although 'Olelo has since Gone To The Sea himself, Gazlowe still hires trolls to chart his boats' paths through the ocean. Go look for yourself.

The family settled in a house outside the city limits. 'Olelo rented time for his children to use Gazlowe's observatory in order to learn the sky like all proper sailors. Thaag became quite impressed with the gadgetry of it all and begged her father to apprentice her to a GEEK artisan.

In addition to learning to her heart's content about everything to do with guns, steam and combustion engines, and fireworks, she spent some free time collecting for Gazlowe's Thumb Bounty. Thaag found the Thumb Bounty worthy as pirates' thumbs, the object of the bounty, were usually attached to a defiler of the Mother Ocean. Troublesome pirates had to be dealt with, and even if the pirate somehow survived Thaag's ambushes, the scum'd never hold a harpoon again. Much more often than not, though, the Tidestalker family ate well after a successful Thumb Bounty. We don't talk much about that.

Thaag ended up also amusing herself with the Black Boutique of Booty Bay. Her contact on the other side of the smuggling fence is a shady Night Elf. She's learned a bit of Darnassian from him but, bless her, her command of speaking it is even worse than her orcish. You don't learn much orcish in the compulsory orcish classes when your nose is buried to your brows in Carburetors' Weekly Illustrated which you just kyped out of Gazlowe's office before lesson time.

Thaag has since raised the money required to submit a Proper Business Plan and receive the privilege of starting up her very own Shrine of the Great Tinker Loa, known in Kezanese as a mechanic's workshop. She calls it Thaag-0-Matic™ BoomKrafting LLC, and the coffee is always fresh and hot.

Thaag is especially proud of her work in the Northrend War Effort, when she volunteered to be on the (very large) crew of (rowdy) mechanics who tuned the engines of the Zeppelins and the Orgrim's Hammer so they could fly in the frigid wastes. It would have been a disaster due to the frequency of drunken parties, had not one of them in a fit of rage (no one laughed at his joke) dumped no less than twenty-three barrels of Mojache Moonshine into the fuel mixture. This turned out to be a huge breakthrough since it lowered the freezing temperature of the fuel. Camp Mojache has since gotten pretty new tents and gravel paving on the previously muddy road.

Thaag refers to her vocation in the orcish translation of the Zandali words iki tiki glob or "Grease Monkey," and to her sneaky avocation in the orcish translation of the Zandali word kwiichosi describing rogues as "Tricksy Ones" (due to the clever trickery of Kwiicho, a primal troll in trollish tales).

[Garots]

Good comedy bio. I think the RP comedy will get better with you.

[Lady Jaina Proudmoore]

Holy crap, it's Thaag!

Thagg is one of the best RPers I know. She's capable of both sides, and I didn't think we were being forced to one side or the other exclusively?

[Thaag]

I think what he meant was conditional upon when I do comedy RP.