RP'ers, gimme feedback!

[Deleted]

Heya!

As some of you might know by now, i'm running RhoninDiaries.com. Now i've recently added the newest (still being written-)book "Retcon".

I'd like some serious feedback on it. Remember; It's about function and readable idea, not about what is written (well, that too but that isn't in my hands =p).

Also; Should i rewrite and make things said by characters in italic?

Thanks in advance.

[The Madgod]

Make it a bit less wall of texty, I would think.

Italics don't really matter much. What does matter though is if someone is speaking to someone, when the other person speaks, they get a new paragraph. Look at some books around your house, to get a feel for the format. That'll space things out for ya, so it'll be less of a wall of text, like I was concerned with earlier in the post.

That's really it. You've done an excellent job aside from that though :P

[Black Mage]

Yes, just space it out. personally, I suggest as so :

( TEXT TEX TEXT TEXT TEXT "DIALOGUE DIALOGUE"

(Tab in) "DIALOGUE (response) DIALOGUE"

etc etc.)

It's the style most commonly used in books and it's very easy to read.

[Garots]

Make it have pictures for all of us!!!


Oh, and 'welcome back!' inb4 'Welcome back!'

[The Madgod]

too late, Garots.

I made a thread about it ;P

[Black Mage]

Make it have pictures for all of us!!!


Oh, and 'welcome back!' inb4 'Welcome back!'

WELCOME BACK.... Ahhhh, too late.

[Deleted]

Fanboys :3 Me want.

[Aramore]

You know I think entry 8 is just about perfect : P

[Garots]

Fanboys :3 Me want.

They are pretty cool to have around. Except when they hit on you and you say your a guy....

---------- Post added 2010-07-26 at 07:17 PM ----------

Oh, and I think everyone would have fun with a cameo of me, that you kill off before the adventure ends.

[The Madgod]

We aren't fanboys.

I'm just glad that he has to pull his own weight again :P

EDIT: and I WOULD enjoy having a cameo of you that I could kill off before the adventure ended

[Aramore]

You'll ahve to run any charactes by Phen, she's being strict about additionsthis time around, and for good reason.

[Garots]

You'll ahve to run any charactes by Phen, she's being strict about additionsthis time around, and for good reason.

Haha, will do. I would love to be a Rohniner.

[The Madgod]

I wonder if Archilios could get in...

/ponder

[Garots]

Subtle...

[The Madgod]

I'm not trying to be subtle. I'm wondering about the chances of Phen accepting him.

[Syrra Coventry]

I glanced over it... The stylization is fine to me. It reads roughly more like a manuscript and less like a book (or a script treatment). There's a lot of text and not nearly as much descriptive content as a book has, but that's partially preference, I suppose.

However, as to content...

I'm not a prude (as some know from my stories), however there's many vulgar terms in there that are far out of place for the milieux. I think you likely know the ones I'm referencing, I'll wager. They make those parts read more like a transcript from a schoolyard rather than a story for World of Warcraft...

[Aramore]

It's the Rhonin Diaries, it's made up of lots of different people's ideas all of whom have varying degrees of skill with writing and ideas of what's funny.

In the end all that's important is that we convey that Rhonin is the ultimate being ever.

[Syrra Coventry]

...okay...

In other words, it's not meant as serious rp writing, I take it...?

[Aramore]

xD I take it you've not had much experience with The Rhonin Diaries then?

[Syrra Coventry]

ummm...No. lol Nothing except what I read today.

I thought it was just RetCon'ing "alternate timeline" stories... That's what I get for thinkin'.