Embarrassingly Funny Stories

[Xanjori]

Story

Ahaha thats brilliant. Reminds me slightly of another one.

Me and my GF managed to break our bed (Ikea told us it was gaurenteed for 10 years!), when they came out to fix it my GF had left her sex-toy right on the bookshelf next to the bed, so the guy comes in, looks at the bed, looks right and see's the sex toy. Turns to my GF "That yours is it?"

[Reg]

I have no parent stories (well one, but it's nowhere near as good as the ones already posted), but I do have a roommate story.

So my first apartment was a 4 bedroom affair that spanned the 2nd and 3rd floors of a very old house (very very old, which means not so very stable). My bedroom was on the 3rd floor, and the other bedroom up there was empty. This led me to be a little less cautious than I otherwise would be in terms of noise and whatnot in having sex, since there was no one right next door to hear me anyway. One day my boyfriend and I were going at it with me on top, and I was apparently getting very into things. We went downstairs afterward to find my roommate sitting in one of those folding canvas camp chairs in the middle of the living room floor and playing x-box, with a couple pictures that normally hang on the walls, sitting on the couch. When we walked into the room he got up out of his chair, shook my boyfriend's hand, and congratulated him on a job well done. We were both pretty mystified, until he pointed to the pictures and told us how they had fallen off the wall, while his chair was slowly walking across the floor due to the movement of the ENTIRE HOUSE. My boyfriend started roaring with laughter, pointing at me and saying, "That was all her man." I was absolutely mortified, and of course the jokes followed me until I moved out of there almost 2 years later.

My first apartment was like that too, an old house out in Brooklyn. My story is very similar, except it wasn't pictures ... we managed to put a hole right through the wall with the headboard...

[Deleted]

I'll always remember when this happened to me...Once a few years ago now when on my way from from a holiday place, I was in the back of the car and because it was a long journey (3-4 hours) I undid my top button and zip on my rather tight jeans, just to make things more comfortable, anyway when we were nearly home we stopped at the local KFC and it was absolutely packed! We parked up and I jumped out the car and started walking across the parking lot, just as I was walking past the huge que of cars waiting for the drive-thru and the 5 or 6 people coming out of KFC because of the long que, my jeans dropped pulling my underwear with them, I had forgotten to do up my zip and button! Anyway there I was standing between atleast 15 - 20 people in all my glory swaying in the wind and evening sun... I just turned and hobbled back to the car with my jeans and underwear still around my ankles...

Worst day ever!!

[Liagala]

Me and my GF managed to break our bed (Ikea told us it was gaurenteed for 10 years!), when they came out to fix it my GF had left her sex-toy right on the bookshelf next to the bed, so the guy comes in, looks at the bed, looks right and see's the sex toy. Turns to my GF "That yours is it?"

My first apartment was like that too, an old house out in Brooklyn. My story is very similar, except it wasn't pictures ... we managed to put a hole right through the wall with the headboard...

Wow. I certainly feel better now! At least I didn't break anything. I would not want to be your GF at that moment, Xanjori! Though who leaves toys out anyway? Mine usually get cleaned up and put away - but that may be more to prevent finding a cat chewing on one than anything else.

[Xanjori]

Wow. I certainly feel better now! At least I didn't break anything. I would not want to be your GF at that moment, Xanjori! Though who leaves toys out anyway? Mine usually get cleaned up and put away - but that may be more to prevent finding a cat chewing on one than anything else.

No one ever goes in our bedroom so we just forgot about it, it was up several shelfs on a bookshelf so way outta cat range, unfortunately at perfect head height for people.

[Reg]

Wow. I certainly feel better now! At least I didn't break anything. I would not want to be your GF at that moment, Xanjori! Though who leaves toys out anyway? Mine usually get cleaned up and put away - but that may be more to prevent finding a cat chewing on one than anything else.

I agree with you on the toys being left out part. I think it's awkward. The girl I am "dating" now works in an adult toy store. She spends most of her paychecks before she gets out of the store after work. I'll come home and there will just be gags and dildos and whips just lying around my apartment that I pay damned good money for. Don't get me wrong, I am all for the fun and excitement, but I don't want a vibrator on my coffee table -.-

[Rukentuts]

Only embarrassing story is one I witnessed in front of my parents. Imagine this from the eyes of a upper middle class conservative family:

They were moving while I was visiting from college. They had movers over taking away the couch. The moment they lifted it up, a marijuana pipe fell out from the bottom. They called my parents over. My mother went up to it and was completely mystified as to what it was. Dad looked at me with suspicious eyes and I just burst out laughing and said "Oh! So that's what you guys do while I am away."

Still nag on my folks for being alleged potheads, although I suspect the pipe was from my sister's pothead boyfriend at the time.

[Xanjori]

I agree with you on the toys being left out part.

It was next to the bed in case we needed it!

Ahaha actually my story gets even better. Apparently what he said to my GF was "Is that your tool?", my GF had just gone to fetch her tool-box and replied "Yes"

[Liagala]

I agree with you on the toys being left out part. I think it's awkward. The girl I am "dating" now works in an adult toy store. She spends most of her paychecks before she gets out of the store after work. I'll come home and there will just be gags and dildos and whips just lying around my apartment that I pay damned good money for. Don't get me wrong, I am all for the fun and excitement, but I don't want a vibrator on my coffee table -.-

Why is dating in quotes?

And yeah, random toys strewn about the house is a little off to me. I'm all for fun and games and my mind may live permanently in the gutter, but my house doesn't need to follow suit.

Still nag on my folks for being alleged potheads.

I came home from a night at a friend's house once to find my parents out cold in the living room with the remains of two joints on a kitchen plate (?!?) on the table between their chairs, right next to a bag of doritos. My dad smoking didn't bother me, but my mother has always been very proper, upper-middle-class correct. Her getting stoned and passing out just did not fit in my head!

---------- Post added 2013-01-14 at 02:53 PM ----------

It was next to the bed in case we needed it!

There's a bag under my bed with a whole assortment of fun inside. Always handy, but not right out there!

Ahaha actually my story gets even better. Apparently what he said to my GF was "Is that your tool?", my GF had just gone to fetch her tool-box and replied "Yes"

ROFL That's excellent!

[Lethey Alexandros]

A few months back I was alone in my room. Had the brilliant idea of haveing a bit of fun with a new toy and warming lotion my boyfriend gave me to take my mind off a tooth acke I was haveing. Lights out, I get the toy ready and start to have fun, bout 5 min. in I notice I am not feeling much of anything and eventually go totally numb. Freaked out I turn the lights on to get a better look and discover that instead of KY gel for her I had applied my tooth acke gel..well not really meant for use down below I and being a bit paranoid I went to the doctor just to be safe. Fule to fire, try explaining that one to a nurse without haveing them chuckle..

[Reg]

Why is dating in quotes?

And yeah, random toys strewn about the house is a little off to me. I'm all for fun and games and my mind may live permanently in the gutter, but my house doesn't need to follow suit.

Dating is in quotes because it's never going to last and we both know it ... So we just have sex and hang out lol

And totally on board with gutter mind, but wanting to appear like a normal member of civilization. It's tough...

[Sicarus]

Dating is in quotes because it's never going to last and we both know it ... So we just have sex and hang out lol

And totally on board with gutter mind, but wanting to appear like a normal member of civilization. It's tough...

The appropriate word usage would be fuck-buddies.

I personally don't have embarressing stories of this caliber, but one time I shit a log in my swim trunks.

[Reg]

The appropriate word usage would be fuck-buddies.

I personally don't have embarressing stories of this caliber, but one time I shit a log in my swim trunks.

Well it's more than fuck-buddies. She lives in my apartment, and we eat dinner together and such. We just no there is no future in it because we are honestly incompatible lol

[Sicarus]

Well it's more than fuck-buddies. She lives in my apartment, and we eat dinner together and such. We just no there is no future in it because we are honestly incompatible lol

If you guys don't actually eat out or go to the movies on dates.

You're fuck-buddies.

[Reg]

If you guys don't actually eat out or go to the movies on dates.

You're fuck-buddies.

We go out; drinks, movies, etc. It's like we're putting on the show of dating but knowing it's finite.

[Liagala]

Well it's more than fuck-buddies. She lives in my apartment, and we eat dinner together and such. We just no there is no future in it because we are honestly incompatible lol

Did you formerly date for real, before finding out that it wasn't going to work? If so, you get serious credit for avoiding the post-romantic awkwardness and managing to score a comfortable arrangement for the time being. If not, I agree with Sicarus. She's a live-in FWB.

Edit: Going out for drinks/movies is something you can do with a friend just as much as a girlfriend. Doesn't invalidate the FWB bit. Though this does explain why "dating." It sounds a lot better than "this friend I'm boinking."

I personally don't have embarressing stories of this caliber, but one time I shit a log in my swim trunks.

I'd rank that one up there with the extremely embarrassing stories, unless no one was around to know about it. In that case, it gets lowered to merely awkward and horrible.

[Reg]

Did you formerly date for real, before finding out that it wasn't going to work? If so, you get serious credit for avoiding the post-romantic awkwardness and managing to score a comfortable arrangement for the time being. If not, I agree with Sicarus. She's a live-in FWB.

We were set up through a mutual friend. I wined and dined her, we went out for like 2 months because I didn't want to piss off my friend who went through the trouble of finding me a decent human being after all the train wrecks I have gone through lol Eventually I sat to have a talk with her about what I was feeling and how it wasn't much, and she was relieved as much as I was. Apparently this friend of ours was sick of us hearing about our love lives, so tried out the same trick on both of us. And while I do enjoy her company and really enjoy the sex, we both know we are looking for something different.

Perhaps it is just fuck buddies, but with bonuses perhaps? lol

[Skippy88]

Here are my top 2:

1. I was down in the basement watching hockey and playing with myself. I didn't even hear my mom come into the room so she tells me I shouldn't be doing that. The cherry on the situation was she came down to tell me she was leaving my dad which she didn't end up doing.

2. One morning I had a shower and nobody was in the house. Instead of putting clothes on I decided to see what was on tv first. I'm sitting on the couch naked when someone knocks on my door. I look up and see my cousin and his then gf waving at me. I ran to my room and got some clothes on first before answering the door. Luckily they broke up and he has forgotten the incident.

[Liagala]

Edit: In response to Regennis, not Skippy88:

That actually sounds like a really amazing setup. Not what I'd want permanently, but I'd enjoy the hell out of that sort of thing for a while. Not just fuck buddies, but actual friends (with benefits). Too many people forget the "friends" part of that, and take it to mean "person I get along with but don't want to date."

So back on topic, has her habit of leaving whips and handcuffs and such strewn about the apartment led to any embarrassing stories? Repair people, parental visits, anything like that?

[Reg]

Here are my top 2:

1. I was down in the basement watching hockey and playing with myself. I didn't even hear my mom come into the room so she tells me I shouldn't be doing that. The cherry on the situation was she came down to tell me she was leaving my dad which she didn't end up doing.

2. One morning I had a shower and nobody was in the house. Instead of putting clothes on I decided to see what was on tv first. I'm sitting on the couch naked when someone knocks on my door. I look up and see my cousin and his then gf waving at me. I ran to my room and got some clothes on first before answering the door. Luckily they broke up and he has forgotten the incident.

1. While watching hockey? Really? lol Was it something you saw that did it for you, or that's just happened to be where the channel surfing stopped when the mood struck? lol

2. I lounge around naked after showers all the time. I prefer to air dry instead of towel dry. Only difference is I live in an apartment that you can't see in to without binoculars lol

---------- Post added 2013-01-14 at 04:32 PM ----------

Edit: In response to Regennis, not Skippy88:

That actually sounds like a really amazing setup. Not what I'd want permanently, but I'd enjoy the hell out of that sort of thing for a while. Not just fuck buddies, but actual friends (with benefits). Too many people forget the "friends" part of that, and take it to mean "person I get along with but don't want to date."

So back on topic, has her habit of leaving whips and handcuffs and such strewn about the apartment led to any embarrassing stories? Repair people, parental visits, anything like that?

No embarrassing stories with her in my apartment. I have no family and guests have to be buzzed in, so I always know if someone is coming lol We have been caught having sex in public places a few times, but I don't get embarrassed. I'm comfortable with me, so if someone sees it, I just feel like I am starring in a NatGeo special.