Is scheming like this common?

[Tennis]

I was reading the newspaper and I came across this ...

Three weeks ago I finally “man-ed up” and told my friend of two years that I liked her.

She had a shocked expression, in a good way, and speechless. I gave her compliments and made her blush a little.

However, she had a breakup earlier this year and isn’t looking to start a new relationship any time soon.

I asked her how she felt about what I said, and she said she doesn’t really know, but “we’ll see over time.”

Here’s where I messed up: I didn’t specify HOW I like her and didn’t ask, “How do you feel about me?”

I subconsciously withheld the truth.

I only want to have sex with her, but I couldn’t put that into words. Now, she still hasn’t told me how she feels.

I’ve texted her to meet, but she keeps dodging me and makes excuses. Any time our group of friends wants to hang out, she finds an excuse, especially if I’m in attendance.

I’d like to correct my approach. But she’s playing a game. I can’t help but feel I’m being pulled into a vicious cycle of on and off relationships. What can I do?

Don’t Like the Game

Whoa! Suddenly, you’re blaming the person you approached without clarity or honesty about what you’re after.

She has good instincts, and is likely avoiding you because she 1) doesn’t want a relationship so soon after a breakup (which you know); and 2) guesses you just want sex and doesn’t find that appealing; or 3) doesn’t want to ruin the friendship.

In other words, she’s a lot more thoughtful about what she does with her personal life than you are.

Back off for now. Try to get back to friendship over time. If anything else is there between you in the future, it should happen naturally . . . not with a self-interested-only approach.

Is this common today? In my circle it isn't but I wonder in other social circles. It's crazy how he makes himself out to be the victim when he's only friends because he wants it...

I know there are unscrupulous characters out there but just how common is this?

[belfpala]

Very uncommon! Like 99.999% of people are completely up-front and open about their goals and motivations at all times. I know this wisdom, and that's why I win at poker all the time.

[Sorshen]

Tennisace shitposting truly never ends...

[chrisberb]

That's a weird article to appear in a news paper. Sounds more like you're reading teen drama e-magazine.

[Aeula]

Yeah totally common. You don't do it? Get with the times Tennisace, it's 2017.

[Rudkobing]

Look into a mirror, Tennis Ace, look into a mirror.

Everybody knows that when you like somebody you. You want to have sex with them. He is a victim because he just wants to have sex with her, and she should be honest with him that she does not.

[Zoibert the Bear]

I do this all the time, so I guess it must be common occurrence.

[Laerrus]

Tennisace, you need to take your standup comedy routine on a world tour.

[Deleted]

It's the current year. How is this even possible? What must we do to battle this?

[Thoughtful Trolli]

She's making the mistake because she doesn't want to ruin the friendship.

The way the world is going, the only people who are wrong are the people who continue to pretend sex is special. As soon as we realize it isn't, we can all die in the ensuing shitstorm of ceaselessly rolling downhill ethics. That means anyone who thinks sex is special is the mistake.

In this article, she thinks having sex with him will have an effect. He doesn't consider it important, he only wants the sex. She considers is special, and isn't living her life screwing everyone, and is going to become another old maid desperate to harm humanity by preying on the younger naivety. Especially after someone does the same thing to her during her most vulnerable moments. Like he was going to do to her, except she's not quite that vulnerable yet. Making her refusal the correct choice, but she doesn't understand there is no choice, we're all fucking feces and we're all going to die, spread them legs. If she just fucked everybody she'd not only have more fun, but give everyone else more fun, and contribute to destroying this world the way it needs to get fucking wrecked.

[PL-Cibo]

I was reading the newspaper and I came across this ...



Is this common today? In my circle it isn't but I wonder in other social circles. It's crazy how he makes himself out to be the victim when he's only friends because he wants it...

I know there are unscrupulous characters out there but just how common is this?

Ahhh sweet self-righteous judgment of people you don't know shit about. keep it up.

[Tennis]

Look into a mirror, Tennis Ace, look into a mirror.

Everybody knows that when you like somebody you. You want to have sex with them. He is a victim because he just wants to have sex with her, and she should be honest with him that she does not.

Then you don't love them. You just lust for their body. If you loved them you would want to marry them.

[Doctor Amadeus]

I'm blunt and explicit about what I wanr, but you have to lay the ground work and even don't expect anything. I am sure if you're friends with a girl or even a guy about how you feel you aren't being yourself. Telling girl you known for years you want to do her up the butt is going to likely end in rejection even if she might.


It's unexpected, kind of what this guy did essentially. Most women aren't stupid they know you want the goods when you say more than friends.

- - - Updated - - -

I'm blunt and explicit about what I want, but you have to lay the ground work and even don't expect anything. I am sure if you're friends with a girl or even a guy about how you feel you aren't being yourself. Telling girl you known for years you want to do her up the butt is going to likely end in rejection even if she might.


It's unexpected, kind of what this guy did essentially. Most women aren't stupid they know you want the goods when you say more than friends.

[Bushtuckrman]

Sounds like he should have made her known he just wanted to be FWB and then she would have given him a straighter answer as well.

[Kraenen]

The world is a horrible place and people are evil. All we can count on is Canada. I thought you were aware of this Tennis.

[Gemini Soul]

No link in the OP, maybe its his blog disguised as "news" so he can blog on here and not get the thread locked!

[Doctor Amadeus]

Oops to answer your question the answer is YES. Guys are stupid so are women. And know cause I did this kind of shit until a female friend took pity on my ass and schooled me on reality and romance with girl. Hell works on guys too. Make best kind of friends starts with honesty. You aren't getting everything but you get nothing or not what you want by being dishonest. Comes more creepy.

[Tennis]

No link in the OP, maybe its his blog disguised as "news" so he can blog on here and not get the thread locked!

You don't trust me? Why would I make this up.

[draynay]

Clearly its her fault for not being married already like your other threads demand she be.

[Gemini Soul]

You don't trust me? Why would I make this up.

The fact you didn't post a link only further proves you did, deflection denied. Look at the replies in this thread and you will find the answer you seek.