Do women not like nice guys?

[Deleted]

This topic, this OP. Lmfao.

Postin' in bait threads in 2kalmost18

[Lewtorz]

Best way to get a lady.
Be yourself
Remember she owes you nothing(no matter what you do) so never expect anything from her.
Be your TRUE self!
Being "nice" is a quality most men have(you're nothing special by saying this)
Don't be a doormat, show her your time is valuable(if you've got nothing better to do with your life then case her then find something to do with your life to make you worth chasing)
Enjoy life, live for yourself. The ladies will come to you.
You're going to the gym, good for you. make friends with the most obnoxious douche bags there and go out drinking with them, they'll hook you up with one night stands which can build confidence(just don't become one of them, mind your manners)
Get some practice at the bar scene making small talk, have some one night stands(you're still at the party age of your life live it up) most people don't start wanting to settle down till they're 26-mid 30's(this especially goes for the ladies).
Don't try to date the ladies you pick up at a bar, they're there for 1 thing, to have fun.
Try dating apps, get more one night stands. Who knows maybe it will be more but don't push for it, again your time is valuable and you're not a doormat.
After you can comfortably talk to the ladies, get them in bed on the regular, gain confidence in yourself, and gain self worth you've upped your chances at finding someone 1000%
Start going to events that interest you(see someone there make small talk, this scene is nearly like a bar but common interests can create a spark to up your chances at finding a relationship)

[Zervek]

Okay see, this is where you're going wrong. You're 25, which is NOT "almost 30". I am actually IN my early 30s and am unmarried and am female, and have zero anxiety about getting married and having children. Mostly because I know I don't want them, but also because I know with my personal life and from what I see with women around me that there are no shortage of partners for anyone at any given age.

Dating is like fishing. You don't have to change your personality or have any special skill to get a date, you just need to cast a wider net. It's mostly a numbers game for men.

Stop hitting on women at work and stop thinking you're repulsive, trust me I have seen some truly repulsive individuals in committed relationships. There's someone for everyone.

Trust me, I am far below average in terms of looks. I am not afraid of putting a picture of my on here just to prove it to you. My genetics are not good.

So? Who cares what you "should" be doing? Do what you want. My parents didn't get married and have kids until they were in their mid 30s, they're still together now some 35+ years later because they didn't just marry any random person willing to put up with them, they waited until they found someone right for them.

I'm turning 30 in a week, I don't care about ever having kids(suck it all you assholes that said I'd change my mind on kids by 30). Do your thing, find what makes you happy. Don't just feel pressured into things because of what other people have.

And you won't be happy if you're settling for any girl, especially if it's a girl you feel owes you a chance rather than a girl that actually wants to be with you.

You're saying its likely I'll need to wait until my 30s? I...I've never even experienced anything sort of intimate with a female. By the time I'm in my 30s, it will be extremely weird for her because she would have most likely been in multiple relationships and I won't know what to do. That's another ten YEARS of staying alone

What does the first part have to do with anything? Are you implying that anyone you don't deem interesting, are automatically lazy and sit around doing nothing? Or what was your point with that line?

Also, wrong. You do have the option to give chance to people you don't deem interesting. You can approach them, but clearly you haven't. Why should anyone who doesn't find you interesting, suddenly owe you a chance of dating, if you approach them? You skipped the uninteresting ones, but women are not allowed to in your opinion? You even went as far with the sense of entitlement, that you called other people being in relationships "an excuse", to not give you the chance you feel entitled to. Some nice guy.

Well you are right, I did skip the uninteresting ones. I mainly want a relationship...I don't think I'm shallow but I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone I'm not physically attracted to. I think I see what you're getting at here; it IS mainly my looks in the end

Yes. You need to be both nice and sexual.

If you want to get a young girl you have to satisfy their stupid uneducated egos = they want to feel overwhelmingly desired not rationally considered. Aka they just want to be treated as a fuckable meat. If you object - they gonna get defensive, blame shift you for slut shaming and all kinds of crap.

But if shes into talking and knowing before sex, do that.

Its easier to become retarded than to educate a retard.

Again, most people use one another but do not commit to really knowing each other.

I get what you are saying and it makes sense but I'm not sure if I can do that. My siblings are all female and I was raised the opposite. I'm not sure if I can do such a drastic personality switch

If anything, I'd say you're trying to hard.. It'll happen when you least expect it, if you do you, something will happen.

OMG TITS - WILL YOU BE MY PRECIOUS!?!?

It will happen when I least expect it? So I shouldn't approach anyone? If I don't do that, I will get nothing because we men have to initiate everything. If I don't do that, I will literally be alone for even longer

[ls-]

TBQH, this post sounds like a bait.

It doesn't make any sense because work would seem like THE place to approach someone for a relationship.

This bit is hilarious also. Work is the best place to look for a partner if you want A LOT OF drama in your life. When you break up, your workplace will become extremely awkward and/or even hostile environment.

You're desperate, women prob see it too, just like we see it here. There's people who like seeing this trait in potential partners, sure, but majority doesn't.

Also, why are you so fixated on marriage and longterm stuff? Have fun! I'm 28yo and divorced, there's no need to rush.

[Hotto Pantsu]

Nope. They really don't. A nice guy is pretty much a pussy, there to be friend-zoned. The alpha male, the ideal male, is a hybrid between a self confident asshole and a nice guy, without going to either extreme. Looks really aren't that important, a woman will sleep with a pretty boy, but will marry the alpha male.

Obviously this isn't a rule set in stone, and women will like the extremes as well, but this applies to most women.

Most important thing to remember, if you think you're an alpha, you're not.

- - - Updated - - -

Ok I'll be brutally honest..
Hot bitches do not like nice guys. Hot bitches like hot guys who treat them like shit.

After many years of hard living, abuse, and joy ridding, hot bitches stop being hot and settle with a nice guy. Thank Christ for Facebook...its a window of awesomness.

There are women who like nice guys but by and large they also like "a man." Most nice guys are trying to be some born of skinny jeans and flannel which most women do not find appealing..


Long and short of it, stop watching Buzzfeed unless you live in 1 of 4 retarded cities in the USA.

I'm not an yank, so I'm interested what are those 4 cities, though I have a good guess about 3 of them (LA, SF, NYC).

[Machismo]

Simply being nice doesn't set you apart from anyone else, that is the expected mode of behavior. Nice guys don't finish last, boring guys do. Women can sense desperation and loneliness, and they don't want anything to do with it. Work on your self, and by that I mean be a more exciting person. Be fun, be adventurous, and be spontaneous.... even if you are doing it alone.

Edit:

Going by this guys posting history, not only is this bait, but it's clear he's an asshole. Writing a thread about how much you hate homosexual people is a clear sign that you are lacking in quite a few social skills.

[ls-]

Most important thing to remember, if you think you're an alpha, you're not.

It's also quite hard to be an alpha in human society given how diverse it is. You may be treated as such in one group, but when you enter another one you may end up being seen as the most beta cuck there is

[Azadina]

Well you are right, I did skip the uninteresting ones. I mainly want a relationship...I don't think I'm shallow but I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone I'm not physically attracted to. I think I see what you're getting at here; it IS mainly my looks in the end

No, it's not your looks, it's your attitude. Anyone can see right through it. You are not treating women as equals, while thinking you are owed chances whenever you see fit. Going as far, again, as calling other peoples relationships "excuses" to not give you the chance you feel is owed.

The best advice you'll get is the following: Me, any other woman in the thread, or anywhere else don't owe you anything at all. Understand this, and your dating prospects will improve.

Just like no man inherently owes me anything. It's simple.

[zealo]

They do. There's however a crucial difference between plainly being pleasant to interact with, and being a self labelled "nice guy" in behaviour and expectations.

People do not owe you dates and so on just cause of being polite. Workplace dating being a bad idea and all that too.

[meheez]

I get what you are saying and it makes sense but I'm not sure if I can do that. My siblings are all female and I was raised the opposite. I'm not sure if I can do such a drastic personality switch

Dont expect your mom say things like ,,women want to be fucked etc". I was born among women too. They say what needs to be said but not what they truly desire.

Heck, maybe most women never grow up?

Women are different, some never reach healthy sexuality perhaps, being stuck in their shyness etc.

[Bronan]

No, arrogance is the result of people, mostly men, being insecure about their shortcomings so they compensate with arrogant behaviour.

And most women, especially the smart ones, don't find arrogant guys attractive. But if you want an airhead who doesn't respect herself then sure, be arrogant.

Yeah, it's obvious we have 2 different definitions for arrogance.

[CthulhuFhtagn]

I compliment women, hold open doors for them, treat them with respect. I don't seem to be getting anything in return here.

This part caught my attention because it reminds me of a mate of mine who has a policy of "A girl should never walk home alone, period" and thereby always insists on walking every girl he knows home, even if he has zero romantic intentions. Sometimes to the other side of town. Regardless of her saying that it's not necessary. Or if he barely knows her. See what I'm getting at? Sometimes a genuinely nice act backfires and comes off as creepy. Not to say you shouldn't walk a girl home of course, just not when she clearly doesn't want you to.

Also, why are you expecting something in return (other than a thank you)? If you're a genuinely nice guy, you do nice things because it's second nature to you and you don't expect anything in return. But if you're faking niceness as a ploy to get women, you're gonna have a bad time.

I've even gone to all of my female co-workers and asked if any of them would like to go on a date with me. I was rejected, by all of them.

This one is obvious - no girl wants to be a second/third/fourth/last choice. So you can't be surprised that a girl won't go out with you because you only asked her because her hot(ter) friend rejected you. Also, work is terrible for dating, for obvious reasons. You have a good idea with the common interest approach, but try it outside of work.

I have confidence but I always see jerks and those who do the complete opposite of what I do seem to get more dates than I do. What do I need to do differently to get into a relationship? Is the main thing that matters looks? I'd consider myself below average if that is the case.

That doesn't sound like confidence to me. It sounds like trying to fake confidence, which tends to be painfully obvious and has the opposite effect. Your whole story sounds like an insecure guy trying to fake being confident by ticking boxes on a checklist. That's not how it works. If you're insecure/shy, that's fine, a lot of people are, men and women both. Try to find a situation/setting where you feel comfortable and then approach girls, you'll have a much better chance of getting a date.

[Deleted]

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that the women you "deem attractive" are way out of your league. Take note that women as a general rule always date up on the social ladder (because they can get away with it) so you need to go after women that are below you in terms of looks.

The virgin looser ALWAYS seem to fall in love with the prettiest girl in the room then get surprised when he gets shot down hard. The pretty girl is dating Chad, the quarterback straight A student. The workplace equivalent of Chad, ain't you.

[Total Crica]

they should at least give me a chance.

Are you giving women like this a chance? If not, why should women who don't find you attractive/interesting give you a chance?

[Uurdz]

I'm 25. I have my own place, a good job, car, and I workout everyday. Yet, whenever I approach a woman I deem attractive, they always give me the same excuses as to why they don't want to go out with me. "I have a boyfriend", "You're a good guy but I don't feel that way toward you", etc. I've even gone to all of my female co-workers and asked if any of them would like to go on a date with me. I was rejected, by all of them.

It doesn't make any sense because work would seem like THE place to approach someone for a relationship. We both share a common interest which is some of the main advice I've received about getting into a relationship. It doesn't seem to work because even though we have a common interest, my co-workers are not attracted to me. Yet, I see them always checking out the more attractive guys I work with and talk to them a lot throughout the day.

I compliment women, hold open doors for them, treat them with respect. I don't seem to be getting anything in return here. I treat them like humans but no one wants to be with me. I have confidence but I always see jerks and those who do the complete opposite of what I do seem to get more dates than I do. What do I need to do differently to get into a relationship? Is the main thing that matters looks? I'd consider myself below average if that is the case.

What i'm going to say is harsh - wish I had been told it in my early 20's so hoping you view it as something to grow from (late 20's married now if interested)

What ive highlighted above - nice guys do this without an expectation of anything in return.
You're not a nice guy or at least no more than anyone else. You're the same as every other guy out there except so don't think women owe you anything. Looks, fortunately for guys, matters very little in the long run.

Looking for a 1-night stand type situation? Then badluck on the looks. Otherwise, you'll be ok.

What you're probably missing is the ability to create a spark of connection between yourself and someone else. At this stage seems like you're asking EVERYONE out on a date.

Recommend 2 courses of action:
1. Go and talk to women in your family about when they fell for the other men in your family. Your mum is your best bet. Get them to explain the feeling, emotion and experience.
2. Go read some books on how the women brain works so that you can better understand how you're going to a) create a spark and b) take action on that spark

[Bronan]

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that the women you "deem attractive" are way out of your league. Take note that women as a general rule always date up on the social ladder (because they can get away with it) so you need to go after women that are below you in terms of looks.

The virgin looser ALWAYS seem to fall in love with the prettiest girl in the room then get surprised when he gets shot down hard. The pretty girl is dating Chad, the quarterback straight A student. The workplace equivalent of Chad, ain't you.

That's hardly ever true, we don't live in an American highschool movie.

Also Chad isn't a straight A student AND an athlete. Between his training practices and his personal life, he hardly ever finds time to study for schoolwork.

[Sengiratolom]

Be yourself
Widen your perspective by meeting women outside of your current social circles and work (going out, doing sports, traveling, dating apps)
Take good care of yourself
Don't be afraid to take initiative, do not rush or force anything
If things develop, go with the flow
Listen to what she is saying, bringing parts of that up when it is relevant will be appreciated
Hobbies, Humor, and punctuality (better be a bit early, like 5min or so) will be helpful traits
Adjust your game to where you are and who you are with, no one likes a 1 trick pony, if you used the same opener on other dates at that place or on dating app matches in the area, it can work against you to repeat it many times with other dates/matches. Likewise it isn't helpful to send a puppy or kitten picture to her if you know she is afraid of animals.

[Pickynerd]

It will happen when I least expect it? So I shouldn't approach anyone? If I don't do that, I will get nothing because we men have to initiate everything. If I don't do that, I will literally be alone for even longer

You seem a tad creepy, with a hint of spazz, this could be part of your problem.

Unless this is a troll, then it makes perfect sense.

[Deleted]

That's hardly ever true, we don't live in an American highschool movie.

Also Chad isn't a straight A student AND an athlete. Between his training practices and his personal life, he hardly ever finds time to study for schoolwork.

I know you nerds like to believe you have the monopoly on brains but just because you're socially awkward and read a lot of stuff on the Internet doesn't mean you're smart.
Most people are as smart as you AND also successful in other avenues of life. Tough pill to swallow.

[Mystrome]

Are you giving women like this a chance? If not, why should women who don't find you attractive/interesting give you a chance?

Cool fat shaming bro.

Personally i think 3 out of those 4 are pretty attractive. And yes, they should all lose weight. Not because they're unattractive, but because it may cause health issues a few decades from now.