Is weight gain grounds for divorce/ultimatum?

[jackofwind]

Lol Yet you go through the ceremony and say the words?

And yeah you're talking about marriages when women were traded for alliances and property? Matrimony was established by the catholic church requiring both man and WOMAN to both establish themselves in a partnership.
Yes arranged marriages happened BUT they were the first to have I DO with mutual agreement.
And you can go fuck off. I might sound like a youth pastor but you sound like a hypocrite who doesn't know what they are talking about.

You literally just said that I was right in your post, then moved the goalposts to only be about Catholic marriages, then told me to fuck off, then admitted you sound like a hyper-conservative zealot. Also - the mere concept that Catholic marriages weren't transactions for alliances an property is nothing short of hilarious.

You're all over the place here. You need a history lesson and maybe a Ritalin.

[Stormspark]

Um, it depends. What kind of weight gain are we talking about? If it increases to the point where they are obviously unhealthy and refuse to do anything about it, then that can be a problem that can impact relationships (it's hard to care about someone that doesn't care about themself). But on the other end of the spectrum people are WAY too shallow.

[Triceron]

Yes, it's fair grounds. Especially if they ever gain weight from getting pregnant, you don't want that kind of baggage.

[Mistame]

Surprised this thread isn't locked. That said, there's lots of things that can make or break a relationship. If I'm not attracted to them, I can't/won't have sex with them. If there's no sex, there's no rational reason to be with them.

Hmm, love that is conditional like that isn't true love at all.

This is part of the problem with society today. Too many people believe in fairy tale "love". Also, you can argue for "unconditional love" in the case of a child, etc. But for a romantic partner, not so much. If there's anything, no matter how extreme, that would cause you to leave them, it's not "unconditional".

Attractiveness isn't based on a single factor.

Physical attraction is the foundation of attraction. Other factors compliment it. That's not to say that you can't care about someone that you're not physically attracted to, but you should be honest enough to let them know that you're not.

If you are just interested in a person physically, that isn't grounds to marry them.

There is no rational reason to get married.

There is a thing people do, imagine your significant other fatter, missing a limb, potentially in a state unable to have sex ... if you still want to be with them, it's love. If not, it's not love.

You bitched about a false dichotomy and presented one yourself. You can "love" someone and no longer want to be with them. Also, an intimate relationship is built on intimacy. The notion that you don't "love" someone because you want to be able to have sex is fucking retarded. If you're not fucking, you're just friends.

[Ghostpanther]

Nope. Not at all. I take my vows I made when I got married, seriously. "For better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and health, until death do we part."

[khaedar]

It depends how much weight we're talking about. If we're talking tens of pounds/kilos and you are no longer attracted to them, then maybe suggest trying to do something about it first before an ultimatum.

[buddhapunch09]

You literally just said that I was right in your post, then moved the goalposts to only be about Catholic marriages, then told me to fuck off, then admitted you sound like a hyper-conservative zealot. Also - the mere concept that Catholic marriages weren't transactions for alliances an property is nothing short of hilarious.

You're all over the place here. You need a history lesson and maybe a Ritalin.

The catholic church which claim to be Christian (weather you believe they are or not it doesn't matter) is the first organization that established matrimony. Where both parties say I do... This is fact.
Also I said that in my last post. "Yes arranged marriages happened BUT they were the first to have I DO with mutual agreement." I'm not arguing that they still didn't have them for alliances or other reasons... Marriages happen for many reasons obviously but it gave both parties the option to say no. Because of this women had a say and were not property so its not the same as where they had no choice.

[Darththeo]

You bitched about a false dichotomy and presented one yourself. You can "love" someone and no longer want to be with them. Also, an intimate relationship is built on intimacy. The notion that you don't "love" someone because you want to be able to have sex is fucking retarded. If you're not fucking, you're just friends.

Love is a dichotomy ... You either love them or you don't. Love has literally nothing to do with having sex ... that's like a 14 year old boy's definition of love.

And just because you are having sex, doesn't mean you love them. If love is just sex for you, you don't love anyone. You just want sex. Seriously, are you telling me the woman who can no longer have sex with her husband because he is bed ridden and can't ... doesn't love him ... she's just a friend? Dude, you must be trolling.

[jackofwind]

Because of this women had a say and were not property so its not the same as where they had no choice.

Oh my sweet summer child, if you think that a huge percentage of Christian (Catholic or otherwise) marriages throughout history weren't primarily about alliances, money, or territory you are incredibly naive.

Also, if you think saying "I do" somehow means that both parties actually wanted to be married you really need to brush up on your history. Just because those words were including in the ceremony absolutely doesn't mean that both parties necessarily had the option to refuse the marriage.

[Splenda]

Weight doesn't bother me enough to fall out of love. I've dated very heavy people in the past. I would care more for the health. Please consider a healthier life style so I can die before you ty.

[Ghostpanther]

Oh my sweet summer child, if you think that a huge percentage of Christian (Catholic or otherwise) marriages throughout history weren't primarily about alliances, money, or territory you are incredibly naive.

Also, if you think saying "I do" somehow means that both parties actually wanted to be married you really need to brush up on your history. Just because those words were including in the ceremony absolutely doesn't mean that both parties necessarily had the option to refuse the marriage.

It certainly happened and still does. Some cultures have the normal practice of arranged marriages, usually the father gets to decide who his daughter was going to marry. And there are a lot of people who just shit on their vows. Or they are getting married like you said, for reasons not even related to being serous about the other person.

[Ealyssa]

You can thank christianity for marriages in the first place.

HAHAHAHAHA

Sorry if this come off harsh

Naah don't worry. You only came as extremely stupid.

[Darklurker]

Fitness, discipline and health are paramount to me. I've been powerlifting and eating sensibly for quite a while now, and would only consider prospective partners who share my priorities. Any major deviations and I wouldn't hesitate to bring it up. And I would understand if the same was done to me. I'm in a long term relationship, and we do keep each other in check.

[Stelio Kontos]

so I can die before you ty.

While weight is an important factor in lifespan, a lot of other things can affect it too. When it's your time it's your time, I try to take all the care I can, but I could get beaned in the brainpan by a falling piano walking down the street. All the kale smoothies people try to promote won't help me at all then.

[Goldielocks]

Hmm, love that is conditional like that isn't true love at all.

This is a child's view of reality. All love is conditional. If your spouse became more and more of an asshole over time your love for them diminishes and that makes the love you've had for them conditional the whole time.

True love doesn't exist. Humans are flawed. No person you ever meet will never not annoy you at least once, and that's the lowest of probabilities. The chances of them doing it far more often are far more likely.

[Eveningforest]

Depends entirely on age. If you become an obese slob at 25, without a medical condition, I won't leave but I'll be extremely concerned about your health later in life.

Mid 40s and beyond? It's expected that you will put on weight and start resembling your parents more and more. Lack of self esteem would bother me more than your overweight body. Be confident and carry yourself well, man or woman. It's your attitude that's sexy.

[BarelyLegalBear]

When it's your time it's your time, I try to take all the care I can, but I could get beaned in the brainpan by a falling piano walking down the street.

Still waiting for this falling piano to strike me.

[Kyphael]

Martin Lawrence said it best in Runteldat.

"When you first gained five pounds... that was cute. But 55 pounds? Goddamn! What kind of fuckin' fool you take me for? My motherfuckin' ankles is still swollen... from the last time we toyed around. You used to look good from afar. Now you just *far* from looking *good*!"

In short, no, it is not cool for the relationship and while it might not kill true love, it won't do it any favors.

[Cruor]

Hmm, love that is conditional like that isn't true love at all.

A woman who loves and respects her husband wont be 120lb when she gets the ring and 200lb a few years later... I see it all the time, especially when I was in the army. I say woman because the vast majority of the time that is who gets fat. Men can get fat too, just not as often or as big of a difference before and after marriage.

Yes it is grounds for an ultimatum or divorce. As Peter Griffin might say it, I love you with my brain and my penis, but if you get fat then you lost it for one of those two... thus the one who got fat is the bad one not the one who takes issue with it.

- - - Updated - - -

If you married someone and their physical appearance changing makes you want to divorce them then you should never have gotten married to begin with.

That's over simplifying and you know it. My mom and my stepmom are both near their 20s wieght (light) and they are mid 60s now. They have wrinkles of course but they stayed the same weight. It's not asking a lot. Too many women blow up after they get married or have kids and too many men accept it.

[Shadowferal]

If I married her, then she'd be as self-disciplined about health as I am.
Lose that and you lose me.