How do you decline invitation to drink?

[Sulli Su]

Do you just say you don't feel like drinking? What is your approach to it without offending someone?

[ParanoiD84]

Lol easy just say that I don't feel like it and that's that. Think you worry abit to much about offending people.

[Amerissis]

Do you just say you don't feel like drinking? What is your approach to it without offending someone?

"No, thanks". Well, it depends on who asks, what relationship you have with them and your reason for declining. If it's someone I know well, I'd let them know why I decline, if I don't know them well, I'd just say no without a reason.

If someone gets offended when you don't want to drink with them, for whatever reason, I'd never drink with them anyway.

[Beastiel]

"Not tonight, i do appreciate the offer though"

No Thanks just sounds a bit nonchalant, like it was automatic and you never considered it to begin with. So i roll with that.

[Amerissis]

No Thanks just sounds a bit nonchalant, like it was automatic and you never considered it to begin with.

Haha, well, that's accurate in my case But I can see some people do like to go out for drinks sometimes, so it would be weird to decline like I do

[shadowmouse]

@ Sulli Su

I can't recall where you are from, sorry. Context may matter.

Scrolled through your posts, looks like you're in Taiwan, but not Chinese.

Random fellow expat? Turn it down politely as others have said.

If things play more or less the same as on the mainland, if it is work related you may want to at least go along to be "part of the group". The Taiwanese guys I've had business dealings with take your willingness to have tea, share a meal, or drink with them pretty seriously. On the other hand, depending on your age they also take health seriously and will let you go easy or beg off on the actual heavy boozing if you'll be social. Last time I had to do this, I was effectively designated drinker for a guy in his 70s (age and health) and the woman in her 40s who was driving (driving). I ended up having to drink, round robin, with five people and it was 50% plus. I hung in there, I've done the game before and can play for time. We got the deal, got favorable terms, it was decided we were a fine group, and I was dodging offers of wild adventures with "pretty girls" for months after that.

It seems to play as it would on the mainland, that if you drink together you're supposedly showing your real self, and business works on personal relationships. Think twice about dealing yourself out completely. If you need to beg off of a heavy boozer, someone who knows you may be able to give you a TCM excuse that will play out OK. The young teacher I had Thanksgiving dinner with has nearly been drooling on the table wishing she could have a beer (she studied in the UK) but is taking TCM (and has the bags of medicine to prove it) and isn't allowed alcohol, dairy products, and maybe some colors of vegetables. If you just need to go lighter, try to find a decent excuse (I use the Beijing subway) not to get completely shit faced. Remember protocol, they may be hoping just as much as you are that it isn't going to get horribly drunk out. I remember a university vice president and I carefully watching each other and since neither of us flinched, it was "gan, gan, gan" all evening. He was the president's designated drinker as well, so there were a hell of a lot of toasts. Months later we were joking together and it turned out that I was following him because he was senior in the hierarchy there, while he was waiting for me to stop since I was the guest. Ah, mianzi!

Hopefully that was useful. @Freighter can probably give you better pointers on Asian drinking protocol though, Korean etiquette for such things is pretty precise if I recall (I've been walked through hours of lessons, many of which seem to involve the guy making a mistake has to drink).

[Cosmic Janitor]

Winter already ended the thread pretty much.

Edit: Well unless you live in a farcical asian society where your social live depends on wasting the little free time you have drinking with people you've already spend 3/4 of the day with.

[Ghostpanther]

Lol easy just say that I don't feel like it and that's that. Think you worry abit to much about offending people.

I have to agree with this. Just say no, applies to a lot of things. You do not always have to give a reason.

[Sulli Su]

@ Sulli Su

I can't recall where you are from, sorry. Context may matter.

Scrolled through your posts, looks like you're in Taiwan, but not Chinese.

Yes, I am not Chinese. I am mixed origin but I am born in South Korea.

Hopefully that was useful. @Freighter can probably give you better pointers on Asian drinking protocol though, Korean etiquette for such things is pretty precise if I recall (I've been walked through hours of lessons, many of which seem to involve the guy making a mistake has to drink).

I know it but I am not sure how to avoid offending people. I also don't want to be seen to be weird. They know I am from South Korea so they think I am fine with drinking. I grow up seeing what alcohol does to people so I avoid it.

[KOUNTERPARTS]

A very easy and effective tactic that has been around since the beginning of time: saying no.


Any form of no even. "No thank you" or "No, not tonight" or hell, even, "Maybe next time" will work.


Man, I swear, these brand new accounts posting these vague ass questions non-stop is getting weird. Next we're going to see "How do you wipe? Front to back or side to side?"


"Why do some people not like non-fiction books?"

[Lochton]

Do you just say you don't feel like drinking? What is your approach to it without offending someone?

"No thanks, I don't drink"

[shadowmouse]

They know I am from South Korea so they think I am fine with drinking. I grow up seeing what alcohol does to people so I avoid it.

OUCH! Then you know the drill. Most of those replying are writing from a different environment and won't get it. PM me, I may be able to give you some suggestions.

[ParanoiD84]

I have to agree with this. Just say no, applies to a lot of things. You do not always have to give a reason.

Yeah can't think of anyone that would get offended anyways.

Easily offended people perhaps that gets offended by everything or cant take a simple no but I have no such friends or relatives and never had so don't have to deal with that.

[Jotaux]

I'm on a diet right now, so no alcohol.

[Queen of Hamsters]

If someone's offended by me not drinking, they can go to hell.

I'll state "I don't drink". If they follow up with the usual "but whyyyyy tho?", I'll tell the truth. I don't like how it feels to be drunk. If they persist, I'll hit them over the head with one of the many sad facts from my childhood and having 2 alcoholic parents. That always works.

[Cosmic Janitor]

Why would it be different?

Because it's a social obligation in many Asian countries, especially among collegues after work or even during, in case of business meetings. There is really no equivalent in the west. Just saying no might have negative implications for your social and/or work life.

[shadowmouse]

Why would it be different?

If you have to ask, you won't understand the answer. You'll know the words, but you'll lack context. Maybe you will find something about your life where you are and others will tell you "just X" but somehow "just X" misses things about your environment. His question is a bit like that.

[Rampant Rabbit]

"No, thanks". Well, it depends on who asks, what relationship you have with them and your reason for declining. If it's someone I know well, I'd let them know why I decline, if I don't know them well, I'd just say no without a reason.

If someone gets offended when you don't want to drink with them, for whatever reason, I'd never drink with them anyway.

If you don't want to be invited anymore, "No, thanks" is a great response.

I prefer to say "I don't feel like drinking tonight", or "not tonight, I have plans/maybe another time".

[Ayirasi]

Sometimes you just have to put on your drinking pants.

[zenkai]

Do you just say you don't feel like drinking? What is your approach to it without offending someone?

No thank you

Why should it be hard?