Childfree.

[Worgoblin]

I'm 35. I knew from the time I was a kid that I didn't ever want to have any of my own. My love of freedom and hate of responsibility is much stronger than my primitive desire to breed. And thank you modern medicine for abortion! To clean up that lil accident a few years back.

[Arganis]

I've only known a few people that never had kids. My aunt comes to mind and for many years it was about being able to lead her life the way she wanted without the responsibility or cost of kids, to be able to enjoy her life to the fullest basically. Then she got old and sick and nobody fly cared, sure she had friends and family but all the things of the past were forgotten and she was left with nothing but material things she couldn't take with her or give in a meaningful way. Not saying everybody is like my aunt but she regretted it a whole lot and then she died, sad story.

The point is kids are suppose to be a long term investment in life, the continuation of your legacy, and when I say legacy I don't just mean making a mini-me, a lot of people don't get that because they're selfish and empty but to actually impart the things you loved and the values that animated you so that somebody else can carry the flame....

TL;DR: Pleasure is fleeting and forgettable, life is forever.

Oh and if you don't want kids then, by all means: DON'T have them. The last thing the world needs is another selfish and disturbed hedonic monster left behind by another selfish and disturbed hedonic waste.

[speehs]

I've always wanted to have kids, but I've recently decided against it. Can't risk passing genetic diseases along. The biological urge to propagate is still strong, though. It's weird.

Unrelated, but that woman's accent is amazing.

[Deleted]

You are the last twig on a branch. Want to break it? Go ahead. Nobody else except your own branch will care.

[Worgoblin]

I've only known a few people that never had kids. My aunt comes to mind and for many years it was about being able to lead her life the way she wanted without the responsibility or cost of kids, to be able to enjoy her life to the fullest basically. Then she got old and sick and nobody fly cared, sure she had friends and family but all the things of the past were forgotten and she was left with nothing but material things she couldn't take with her or give in a meaningful way. Not saying everybody is like my aunt but she regretted it a whole lot and then she died, sad story.

All the more reason not to have kids. I can think of nothing more selfish than bringing a kid into this world so they can one day take care of you while you're sick and dying. Yeah, no thanks. I'll die alone and be happy for the fact that no one else has to be part of my suffering.

---------- Post added 2012-06-25 at 07:03 PM ----------

I've always wanted to have kids, but I've recently decided against it. Can't risk passing genetic diseases along. The biological urge to propagate is still strong, though. It's weird.

It's not weird. It's billions of years of instinctual hardwiring we have to fight against when we decide not to reproduce!

[JohnBrown1917]

Some of the "arguments" are just outright ridiculousness.

But on-topic :
When I was younger(mid-teenage years), people used to tell me that I would change my mind.
I even remember my child-less aunt telling my that, but now that i'm 18, and people have stopped telling me that(outside of the internet that is). I don't know why, maybe its because i'm male. Or they actually believe me when I tell them I won't change my mind.

But kids just don't even fit my personality(extremely introverted, I like being alone.. etc..). And with my other "issues", I also don't think it would be a great idea for me to ever get kids.

[bamf775]

Why are you attacking her? She may not have first hand experience but neither is she bashing people with children.
Before we make BIG decisions in life, its smart to research and try to understand what a huge undertaking something will be. Why are you bashing her for studying something she wants to make a decision on and concluding she doesnt want kids based on her findings. That is a lot more than what I can say for a ton of people who don't think, have kids, and find out it's not what they thought. And end up possibly ruining the child's life.

Don't say "you know what it takes to raise a child" when you've never had one. Get the picture? Good for her if she researched it, but don't say you know what it takes because you don't until you've had a child.

[Deleted]

I do want to have kids. I guess 23, my own age, is to early to make any decisions on this field though. I believe that in 5-6 years both me and my partner will be ready for that and I want to have 1-2 girls, no boys.

@ Original Post, I really don't understand the need for you to claim that you don't want to have kids. Especially at mmo-champion.com. Still, after I read your post I can tell you I like the way you think. I don't feel bad about what you say nor pity for you. In fact the only thing that saddens me, apart from ignorant posts, is that I wish more people had this attitude instead of giving children a hard time or even abandon them. Lots of children are given away, left to die, suffer domestic violence, etc.

If you don't want to have kids, then don't, lol. You even say you won't change your mind, why the post then? I guess it's ridiculous.

[Arganis]

All the more reason not to have kids. I can think of nothing more selfish than bringing a kid into this world so they can one day take care of you while you're sick and dying. Yeah, no thanks. I'll die alone and be happy for the fact that no one else has to be part of my suffering.

Having kids requires devotion, patience and sacrifice. People that are willing to do none of those things shouldn't have kids: the end. Also the point wasn't she was sad cause nobody could pickup her medical bills and pat her on the back but because when she left, she would leave nothing of herself behind. (And b4 you say I don't wanna leave anything behind fuck life or w/e, well let's just say some people want to leave something behind to improve the world, not just to perpetuate themselves).

Anyways I think it says a whole lot when people argue then don't want to have kids because life is wretched and they don't want to sacrifice anything. In a way it seems you don't want kids because on a sub conscious level you don't want to see more people like you but that says a whole lot about you. (you being people in general)

[Reeve]

I have always wanted children because I do well with kids and I like teaching people stuff. I think I'd probably be a really good father. That said, I'm 28 now, and I don't have an obvious pathway to children ahead of me so for the first time, I'm starting to imagine my future if I never have kids, and it doesn't look so terrible.

[FrenchieKDC]

The reason people say it you will change is that is the normative behaviour of both male and females (as in thoughts change (not the reproduction topic), and I would not be so bold as to proclaim such things as static in your life, but rather temporary and "in-the-now".) Countless people throughout history have thought as you do, and I know it may be hard to think or feel otherwise; you probably feel alone - but you are not. The thing one must realize, however, is, in general, we have all been there. Whether you're just graduating from high school or starting a career at around twenty-five to thirty, the modern human tends to be selfish, but not in a typical manner one associates with being selfish. We have spent so many years growing up, maturating, and learning and it's our turn to be an adult, whatever that means to them. Yes, there are some people who believe at an early age they want to have kids. I, personally, cannot support that idea but it's valid nonetheless. The idea of perpetuating our careers and goals is only further instilled in us by the very things which push us to grow up. I cannot speak for Denmark, but in general, developed countries tend to put career first and family second.

Which is, perhaps, part of the problem when it comes to your current decision. And there's nothing wrong with it, either (your decision). However, when you make comments like this, "I do not -hate- kids, but I dislike being near them. They're noisy, messy, and expensive. And selfish more often then not.", I am inclined to think you have a misconstrued idea about children which may only strengthen your resolve in a negative way. They are none of those adjectives wholeheartedly and perhaps your experiences with them is the problem. Of course, be mindful I am not saying they will not be noisy, messy, expensive, or even selfish - they WILL be, sometimes- , but so are adults, and perhaps moreso than children. It may behoove you to try and understand children more - and by children I mean ages 5 to 10 - not only in a compassionate sense, but also a psychological sense. I am not suggesting it will change how you feel regarding children in the least, but I do think that you would simply have a better understanding. Though, you may already know and simply may be very pessimistic for all I know.

Of course I want you to know I am not trying to address in the sense of fixing you, or anything of that nature. I want to try and help what I feel is a massive misunderstanding of not only children, but everything regarding your original post, which I feel, personally, is typical, arrogant, and obstinate of people around our ages. It's simply how we are. And people who suggest contrary to you generally do have the experience, or at least common knowledge (because in the end, it is the natural biological root in all of us) to suggest it. There is every reason for them to suggest it, and there is never another experience like having children, and that is simply nature/reality.

To answer your questions about my own life: My son would be turning eight this year, but sadly he is no longer with me. I feel I was a great parent, but I also feel I messed up on so many things because of how young I was when I had him. I am 26 now, and by the time my fiance is ready for children, I'll probably be around 30. I struggle with that thought... It tears me up inside. I do not want to be turning almost 40 and just then raising a children. That's insane to me. That's too old to be just starting out. Yes, you're more "secure", but there's so much you give up for that disillusioned security or whatever term someone feels like using. Even if I had another one this day, when they are 6, I would be 32. I do not think I'd be as active and engaging with my child at that age. I am extremely well-versed in developmental and child psychology, as well as numerous other forms, and more. But I do not think I will be able to continue to understand children in 6 more years as I do now. I am honestly scared of so many things, not only psychologically with my children, but medically/biologically. Every year, rates for things increase exponentially. I am just... afraid, scared, etc. I know I am just 26 and I am putting so much needless stress and pressure on myself, but mentally, I am not 26, and I have never been just "26". I was forced very early on to think and act well above my age to be able to survive. So I may be 26 years old, but I feel 36. And I know that I don't in ever way, and I am sure older people than I can read this and point out parts where it's obvious I don't act 36 and do act 26... You know, I don't... Disagree with that assertion. But it doesn't change how I feel about myself.

I do want another child, two or three. I think part of me is scared to have another simply because I lost one already, and having another would be... replacing him, as if he didn't exist. And I know it doesn't and most of my reply hasn't been ontopic.. So I apologize but ugh...

I am indifferent towards people in general. I tend to be very analytic and logical, rational, etc. I don't always form opinions and am extremely objective towards most things. So I don't hate kids, I really do love them, as I do all people, but I do not make special places for them. That said, when I see a baby... and they're smiling or doing cute things... the instinct is to think they're being cute and adorable and I want one.

I am going to stop typing because I am extremely tired and I am simply just rambling at the moment; I may edit more into this later.

[bamf775]

I do want to have kids. I guess 23, my own age, is to early to make any decisions on this field though. I believe that in 5-6 years both me and my partner will be ready for that and I want to have 1-2 girls, no boys.

@ Original Post, I really don't understand the need for you to claim that you don't want to have kids. Especially at mmo-champion.com. Still, after I read your post I can tell you I like the way you think. I don't feel bad about what you say nor pity for you. In fact the only thing that saddens me, apart from ignorant posts, is that I wish more people had this attitude instead of giving children a hard time or even abandon them. Lots of children are given away, left to die, suffer domestic violence, etc.

If you don't want to have kids, then don't, lol. You even say you won't change your mind, why the post then? I guess it's ridiculous.

Exactly, the chick just wants attention. No one cares if you don't want kids, the world is better off for it.

[Ayarea]

I've only known a few people that never had kids. My aunt comes to mind and for many years it was about being able to lead her life the way she wanted without the responsibility or cost of kids, to be able to enjoy her life to the fullest basically. Then she got old and sick and nobody fly cared, sure she had friends and family but all the things of the past were forgotten and she was left with nothing but material things she couldn't take with her or give in a meaningful way. Not saying everybody is like my aunt but she regretted it a whole lot and then she died, sad story.

The point is kids are suppose to be a long term investment in life, the continuation of your legacy, and when I say legacy I don't just mean making a mini-me, a lot of people don't get that because they're selfish and empty but to actually impart the things you loved and the values that animated you so that somebody else can carry the flame....

TL;DR: Pleasure is fleeting and forgettable, life is forever.

Oh and if you don't want kids then, by all means: DON'T have them. The last thing the world needs is another selfish and disturbed hedonic monster left behind by another selfish and disturbed hedonic waste.

My gran has 7 kids, 2 never come home and the others don't do anything for her except for my mum. She literally busted her ass off to raise all her 7 kids. Gave them her home when they were building their own house etc. Now she gets nothing but an occasional visit - which is often filled with "what can she do for us this time". Even kids can and will ditch you if they can't be bothered...

Anyway I'm going to stop posting in this thread. Have fun debating/ flaming eachother o/.

[JohnBrown1917]

Having kids requires devotion, patience and sacrifice. People that are willing to do none of those things shouldn't have kids: the end. Also the point wasn't she was sad cause nobody could pickup her medical bills and pat her on the back but because when she left, she would leave nothing of herself behind. (And b4 you say I don't wanna leave anything behind fuck life or w/e, well let's just say some people want to leave something behind to improve the world, not just to perpetuate themselves).

Anyways I think it says a whole lot when people argue then don't want to have kids because life is wretched and they don't want to sacrifice anything. In a way it seems you don't want kids because on a sub conscious level you don't want to see more people like you but that says a whole lot about you. (you being people in general)

There is no point in leaving something behind, maybe you will be remembered for a few more decades, but that's it.
Having kids to just so you will be remembered is selfish and a really, really bad reason to get kids.

There are far better ways to be remembered and for longer periods of time.

[Arganis]

I do want to have kids. I guess 23, my own age, is to early to make any decisions on this field though. I believe that in 5-6 years both me and my partner will be ready for that and I want to have 1-2 girls, no boys.

Don't have kids in 5-6 years with that attitude, it shouldn't matter what sex your child is, and that right there is already a red flag. I understand some people like the idea of having a little girl/boy more but selfish preferences rly shouldn't be part of the decision. You're not adopting a dog.

There is no point in leaving something behind, maybe you will be remembered for a few more decades, but that's it.
Having kids to just so you will be remembered is selfish and a really, really bad reason to get kids.

There are far better ways to be remembered and for longer periods of time.

I think there's a cancer in values in this society. The point isn't to be remembered or even cared for (although that's always nice), the point is to breath in a part of what matters to you into someone so that they may perpetuate it. And even if you are forgotten and what you teach isn't practiced, there is a chance down the line that something good will spring from what you left behind.

Anyways this society is entirely too hedonistic, "what will my kids do for me?" is always the question and then more often then not those people end up with kids that treat their parents like shit but imo it's just another case of the apple not falling far from the tree.

[Rheckameohs]

I've completely ignored every other post in this thread save the OP. Fuck the police.

Anyway, I have a son, and in December my wife and I are expecting another. My children are the most important things to me, and are a near constant source of happiness. This in mind, it honestly boggles my mind that there are some people who don't want kids. I'm not saying that I think you're wrong or I'm a better person than you or what have you, but it literally confuses me. I guess I just can't imagine my life without my kids. Fatherhood is pretty rad.

Also of note, I do have a theory on whether or not you'll be a shit tier parent: if you're only concerned about yourself (i.e., "How will they fit into my life," "How will they impact me financially," etc.), you're going to be a shitty parent and I will gladly pay for your abortion if you get knocked up or knock someone else up. On the other hand, if you're concerned with your kid's quality of life before he or she is even conceived (in essence, "Will I fuck up my kid's life?"), you're probably ready.

And that's my two cents' worth.

[Maelle]

I felt the same way as you at your age, I'm now over 30 and I still feel exactly the same. I have no urge to have children, although if it happened accidentally I would do my best to rise to the situation. At best I would describe my feelings to having a child as neutral / ambivalent.

The only thing I have felt is a slight tug of "am I mising out on something" as time passes... but never enough of a tug to make me want to give up my quiet life, and turn it upside-down on a what-if! My sister has 3 boys who I love dearly, and I do like kids, I just like my life - my way more.

There is no right or wrong answer, just go with your gut, and be prepared to face awkward silences ocasionally with women who think having children makes you a superior human xD

[Duridi]

Don't say "you know what it takes to raise a child" when you've never had one. Get the picture? Good for her if she researched it, but don't say you know what it takes because you don't until you've had a child.

Well, you can still form an opinion that it doesn't look like a task for you.

[Deleted]

Don't have kids in 5-6 years with that attitude, it shouldn't matter what sex your child is, and that right there is already a red flag. I understand some people like the idea of having a little girl/boy more but selfish preferences rly shouldn't be part of the decision. You're not adopting a dog.

You are wrong. I do have preferences, and I want a girl over a boy. But that doesn't mean that if I got a boy I won't love and care for him as much. I am just having my fingers crossed. There is no red flag in what I said nor in my personality. I don't know what you are trying to accomplish there, but it makes no sense to me. Most people I know prefer boys because they are easier to rise. I have strong connection with girls, I grew up around my four elder sisters. Let me be with my choices, who are you to tell me I am right or wrong.

[vep]

I'm sorry but people always giving this response to people saying "I don't want kids" irritates the hell out of me. Sure, she might not be 100% sure on what she wants for the rest of her life at 23, but unless you know her personally and have been around her for all her life and know all her hopes and dreams and what she wants... neither do you.

I say this because I get that response EVERY SINGLE TIME I tell any member of my family/friends that I'm not the kind of person that wants kids.

Well then, if you get the same response EVERY SINGLE TIME you can bet your ass it's true!
Now, I don't want to come off as aggressive but seriously, who knows what exactly, at that age? You thought you knew how the world works when you were 15. How did that turn out for you?

If you get the same response, it's gotta stand for something, doesn't it?