The first "I love you"

[Deleted]

My so of 11 months said it to me at first, she knows I'm not into the soppy shit or about to grow ovaries so random declarations of love are rare.

It's ironic though in how aggressive she was in trying to date me, I'd literally finish work and come back and she would be sat on the doorstep into our flats waiting for me; I just thought she was being nice because I have the emotional range of a Slavic potatoe.

[BuckSparkles]

While general patterns are common, the details differ - and I would argue that details are what separates really liking someone from loving someone.

Love seems like an awfully strong committing word that you can't easily back away from in a time of need.

[Jotaux]

Will be close enough.

One likes blue one likes red.

Both cheat.

In the end, if they both cheat, they both are the same to me.

I will be one of the first to say I don't even consider cheaters people but not every woman is going to cheat on you. And cheating is not always the reason relationships end.

[BuckSparkles]

I guess there lies the problem. You assume that in every relationship someone cheats. Which is, quite frankly, nonsense.

And no, won't be "close enough". You might have a different view on that, but for me, no individual is just "replaceable".

Your choice. You hold too much value on people.

[Deleted]

Your choice. You hold too much value on people.

I don't see that as a bad thing, though. Why would it be?

[BuckSparkles]

I will be one of the first to say I don't even consider cheaters people but not every woman is going to cheat on you. And cheating is not always the reason relationships end.

True, but it certainly doesn't help my view of women.

I am very suspicious of any decently looking girl.

Which is a problem ,because I want to date a girl that nobody I know could accuse of being beaten with the ugly stick.

- - - Updated - - -

I don't see that as a bad thing, though. Why would it be?

Eh it's fine to an extent. Before somebody close betrays you.

[May90]

Love seems like an awfully strong committing word that you can't easily back away from in a time of need.

Yes, it is a strong committing word. And that is one of the reasons why claiming that partners are replaceable is a stretch.

Eh it's fine to an extent. Before somebody close betrays you.

Not valuing people highly just because they might betray you - this is a reasoning completely alien to me.

[BuckSparkles]

Yes, it is a strong committing word. And that is one of the reasons why claiming that partners are replaceable is a stretch.
Not valuing people highly just because they might betray you - this is a reasoning completely alien to me.

I don't like strong committing words. Again, inconvenient if you need to change or back away from it.

Also, you make it sound so harsh. I just keep my distance. Easier to eliminate them from my train of thought when they no longer add to my life.

[May90]

I don't like strong committing words. Again, inconvenient if you need to change or back away from it.

Also, you make it sound so harsh. I just keep my distance. Easier to eliminate them from my train of thought when they no longer add to my life.

Words just reflect our minds. Saying "I love you" doesn't force you to commit to anything; however, you also probably won't say it in that sense to just anyone.

Well, if it works for you... I however like to experience life in more depth, which keeping one's distance from everyone prevents one from doing.

[Reeve]

I don't think people are replaceable...sure you can get a new relationship, but all of my relationships have been different from one another. And you're not going to get the exact same partner from one relationship to the next.

Relationships and people are not carbon copies of one another.

Yeah. You can fall in love with a person, break up with them, and fall in love with another person. But the second love won't be the same as the first, and the second person won't be the same as the first. It feels different every time.

[Deleted]

Eh it's fine to an extent. Before somebody close betrays you.

Maybe. But I'd rather have my faith in people shaken a few times, than to not have it to begin with.

[BuckSparkles]

Words just reflect our minds. Saying "I love you" doesn't force you to commit to anything; however, you also probably won't say it in that sense to just anyone.

Well, if it works for you... I however like to experience life in more depth, which keeping one's distance from everyone prevents one from doing.

You can have depth without people.

And you don't need to say "I love you" to have depth.

I have plenty of people who I could cut out of my life in a moments notice. Doesn't mean they don't add some interest to my days

[Deleted]

Never said this to anyone, never been told this by anyone (that I have conscious memory of)

Unless you count Japanese adult voice dramas and hentai games then I've been told that a few times.

[May90]

You can have depth without people.

And you don't need to say "I love you" to have depth.

I have plenty of people who I could cut out of my life in a moments notice. Doesn't mean they don't add some interest to my days

We are talking about valuing people here. You can value them without saying "I love you". But if you don't value them, then what does it even matter what you say? It is not hard to spot someone not caring about you. And, sorry to say, when you don't value other high, they tend to do the same to you, decreasing your chances to even find love: few want to be with someone who gets into a relationship with the mindset, "They might betray me, so I shouldn't really commit to this".

[Gamdwelf]

You can have depth without people.

And you don't need to say "I love you" to have depth.

I have plenty of people who I could cut out of my life in a moments notice. Doesn't mean they don't add some interest to my days

Such a cranky lil guy.

[BuckSparkles]

We are talking about valuing people here. You can value them without saying "I love you". But if you don't value them, then what does it even matter what you say? It is not hard to spot someone not caring about you. And, sorry to say, when you don't value other high, they tend to do the same to you, decreasing your chances to even find love: few want to be with someone who gets into a relationship with the mindset, "They might betray me, so I shouldn't really commit to this".

You say that as if I advertise it to people in person.

I don't. I just observe them. If they prove worth it, I will let them a bit closer.

[May90]

You say that as if I advertise it to people in person.

I don't. I just observe them. If they prove worth it, I will let them a bit closer.

No, but it is not hard to figure out even in a casual conversation (valuing someone is hard to fake), let alone in something that intimate.

[Detheavn]

I don't know really when it started, but I do know that I didn't throw it around as easily.
I started off with "I know", which became "Me too" (or rather in Dutch: Ik ook van jou) and eventually it just happened. Kind of every day before I go to work and she's still in bed with her lazy ass

[Yvaelle]

Some guy got a felony charge for that recently in Las Vegas.

That's horrible, what's the point of a ferris wheel if not for semi-public oral sex? Without that it's just a slow-moving seat.

[Lady Dragonheart]

That's horrible, what's the point of a ferris wheel if not for semi-public oral sex? Without that it's just a slow-moving seat.

Indeed.