Why is virgin shaming a thing?

[Zuben]

It's never been a thing in my circles.

[GreenJesus]

wtf.. how is it bad to be a virgin at 20? are you kidding me?

I'm 22 but I have had trouble with depression/anxiety, had a large surgical wound near my tailbone that took over a year to heal (was not able to do exercise) Now I am just used to being inside and don't have friends to go out. And it feels like since I am 22 it is now too late to try since girls are all way more experienced and I would look like an idiot. And I gained some weight during this whole shit.

[Polarthief]

I mean sure, if you are a virgin by 20 or 30 it'd be weird, but still, why do people care so much about your virginity?

"Why is virgin shaming a thing" *immediately virginshames* OP, how can anyone take you seriously when you're that hypocritical?

So to answer your question, OP, virgin shaming is a thing because people like you find being a 20-30 y/o virgin as weird.

[Reith]

Because in a patriarchal society hellbent on finding reasons to be better than everyone else, boys often consider sexual relations as a rite of passage. You're either in the club or you're laughed at. Either way, it doesn't matter. People are just insensitive, and it matters absolutely none.

Kinda off-topic, but there's no such thing as a patriarchal society. There's just human societies.

On-topic: Losing my virginity didn't change anything, tbh.

[Rudkobing]

To cull the herd.

[Seani]

This happens to most guys in high-school. It isn't because of any sort of ideological reasons, it's likely because you can't find a girl that will let you bang her lol.

[Trassk]

For the same reason all the valley girl slags insult other girls in school for not wearing designer cloths, because their shallow and depend on material wealth to feel any meaning in life.

[Low Hanging Fruit]

I think it is a classic example of "have and have nots" or in this case "have done and have not done" that people do all the time. A lot of people, to the point of me considering most (personal opinion), like to look at the experiences they have done and things they have and use it to project themselves over lesser experienced and over people of lesser possession. Of course a lot of people either really don't care all either way. Or are sensitive / mature enough to just let it be. But on the other hand a lot of people aren't there yet and won't ever be there. Then as always the ones that aren't will be insanely more noticed and heard because they are the ones making the scene while the other side of the coin is just not doing much. You also likely have some religion stuff that gets put into the mix as well since a lot of them pretty much tell you to go out and make babies in some form or fashion and sex plays a pretty big role in that. So I am sure you have some deep physiological conditioning going into this as well weather people are big believers or not. It is just baked into a lot of the cultures around the world. Even down into pop culture and all of that to where its almost normal now. Lots of people are conditioned to do it if they are easily influenced by things like movies, music, and other things like popularity contests at school for example.

[Glaziola]

wtf.. how is it bad to be a virgin at 20? are you kidding me?

I'm 22 but I have had trouble with depression/anxiety, had a large surgical wound near my tailbone that took over a year to heal (was not able to do exercise) Now I am just used to being inside and don't have friends to go out. And it feels like since I am 22 it is now too late to try since girls are all way more experienced and I would look like an idiot. And I gained some weight during this whole shit.

Relax and take your time, all you need to do is stay chill and start going out to parties (at university for example) or a bar, eventually you see a girl that gives you a smile or other signs and you make your move. Be confident and funny, ask her for a dance or just talk and then go to another place. From there it goes automaticly. (Dont be discouraged if it doesnt work the first time, you might just get a few kisses and phone number, but eventually it will work)

Also give some old friends or mates a call or chat and see what they are doing, connections always help! If they go out, go with them maybe they got some girls going aswell so you can flirt with a friend of friend etc.

Good luck man!

[Deleted]

wtf.. how is it bad to be a virgin at 20? are you kidding me?

I'm 22 but I have had trouble with depression/anxiety, had a large surgical wound near my tailbone that took over a year to heal (was not able to do exercise) Now I am just used to being inside and don't have friends to go out. And it feels like since I am 22 it is now too late to try since girls are all way more experienced and I would look like an idiot. And I gained some weight during this whole shit.

You need to be confident, fake it till you make it, oh and a few hobbies help.

Get ripped is also a good tip.

[Independent voter]

I mean sure, if you are a virgin by 20 or 30 it'd be weird, but still, why do people care so much about your virginity?

Don't they have hookers in Finland? I would imagine it's legal. Just get a pro and tell her it's you first time or if she doesn't want to be bothered ask her to recommend someone who doesn't mind a noob.

[JohnBrown1917]

Who cares, imma be a wizard soon.

[yurano]

I mean sure, if you are a virgin by 20 or 30 it'd be weird, but still, why do people care so much about your virginity?

There has been studies that show women engage in mate-poaching, whereas men don't. If we generalize this a bit, women are more interested in men with established experience and success in dating (eg. they rather not be alpha testers).

This is why men more likely to be virgin shamed, and more easily criticized by "thats why you don't have a girlfriend".

[Allybeboba]

How would people know unless you told them?

[Granyala]

You need to be confident, fake it[...]

How can one fake confidence? Oo

You either are or you are not.
I certainly am not. I question everything and everyone. Most of all I question myself.

[Mirishka]

I mean sure, if you are a virgin by 20 or 30 it'd be weird, but still, why do people care so much about your virginity?

So you ask why its a thing, only to do it yourself. Okay.

[Chinese Bootlickers]

Having almost entirely severing myself from the public since 2015, having an acute case of gynophobia and generally finding the act a bit disgusting it's not hard to see why I'm still on the path to Wizard-dom

Who cares, imma be a wizard soon.

Yeeeaaah boi, 6 more years.

[Travis B]

If it's not okay to slut-shame, then it shouldn't be okay to virgin-shame either.

Though I somehow get the sense that people who get outraged about one don't get nearly as outraged about the other.

[willtron]

This happens to most guys in high-school. It isn't because of any sort of ideological reasons, it's likely because you can't find a girl that will let you bang her lol.

Pretty much this, but asking this question on a World of Warcraft forum is always going to result in defensive answers.

[Deleted]

Because some people like and feel the need to make others feel bad in order to feel better about themselves.