Sex on the First Date?

[Themanintobuildafire]

Can guarantee the majority of people saying no for whatever fedora logic reason would jump into bed with a quickness if the opportunity actually presented itself. These threads always attract the worst turbo geeks this forum has to offer.

Thing is, there are two types of first dates...I've been married a long time now, but back when I was single, the girls who I actually thought were ones I wanted to date to lead to marriage, there was no way I was going to have sex so soon. I don't want a relationship based on sex, I want to get to know the person.

Other dates where I knew the girl was going to be a great lay, yeah, I wanted to get in there ASAP as I knew it wasn't going to be anything besides a couple dates and some raw animal sex...

You gotta know what you are looking for and adapt accordingly.

[Dug]

Thing is, there are two types of first dates...I've been married a long time now, but back when I was single, the girls who I actually thought were ones I wanted to date to lead to marriage, there was no way I was going to have sex so soon. I don't want a relationship based on sex, I want to get to know the person.

Other dates where I knew the girl was going to be a great lay, yeah, I wanted to get in there ASAP as I knew it wasn't going to be anything besides a couple dates and some raw animal sex...

You gotta know what you are looking for and adapt accordingly.

Perfectly fair and understandable. My post is in reference to the types that call women sluts/whores/easy because they'll have sex on the first date. Hence, fedora logic

[Spectral]

Sorry, but it's not a binary equation. There's more than just random sex or a relationship. One can care about people without being committed to them.

If you're in a FWB situation and you both care for each other, that's a relationship. If you don't and are only in it for sex, that's random sex. Where's the grey area?

I'm with Mistame on this one. It's not that hard to care about your friends, whether you're having sex with them or not. If you're hooking up, there's an additional element to it. I had a summer that I spent sleeping with one of my buddy's sisters, she and I were always clear that there wasn't going to be any real long term thing there, but she was cool and I definitely cared for her. You don't have to be love someone or be in a relationship with them to care about them.

I would hope we can all agree that being kind to whoever you're sleeping with is like a basic requirement to hooking up.

[FuxieDK]

Wow....so much wrong with this. Sex on the first date has never been the "norm". Stop living in your teenage hormone fantasy world and get out into the real world (unless you count prostitutes or hookers as first dates...)

You do know, the 1960s was the sexual revolution, right?

It was then, sex stopped being only for married couples, intending to have kids.
Since then, sex have been PRIMARILY for pleasure, without the moral constraints of "people who know better"..

[Themanintobuildafire]

Perfectly fair and understandable. My post is in reference to the types that call women sluts/whores/easy because they'll have sex on the first date. Hence, fedora logic

The types that call women that are a joke. They'd tap the right girl on the first date. Also, there are a lot of man whores out there that will bang anything that moves. I have a few friends in that category.

This isn't the conservative 50s anymore. Girls wanna get laid as much as guys. Some will do it on the first date, others won't. I guess it also depends how "hot" the guy is in the girl's eyes. A really hot girl would have no trouble getting a guy to bust a nut on the first date.

[Deleted]

Seems slutty. Like fucking a stranger, which has also been normalized for some reason.

What is a stranger. If you've had a chat with someone first, is that person still a stranger.

[Seirith]

What is a stranger. If you've had a chat with someone first, is that person still a stranger.

Yes, if I have talked to someone they can still be stranger. Talking to someone doesn't mean I know anything about them or who they are as a person.

[Deleted]

Talking to someone doesn't mean I know anything about them or who they are as a person.

Depends on what you talk about.

[Seirith]

Depends on what you talk about.

Well, yes but when I meet someone I normally don't start asking 100 questions to see what type of person they are, what they want in life, if they want kids or not, their feelings on drugs/alochol, if they like animals, smoking, etc etc.

Also, knowing those answers does not make me "know" the person,spending time with them is.

[Deleted]

Well, yes but when I meet someone I normally don't start asking 100 questions to see what type of person they are, what they want in life, if they want kids or not, their feelings on drugs/alochol, if they like animals, smoking, etc etc.

Also, knowing those answers does not make me "know" the person,spending time with them is.

Doing daygame in a 5-10 minute conversation, I usually learn about the person's age, name, location, hobbies, job and general personality, just by being exposed to them and watching them. The girl that I got a number from yesterday was very chatty, I know that she's into grindcore and loves Netflix. She loves vampires and zombies. And she is very extroverted. There were times where I could only look at her and let her talk, that's how much she loved talking. Now I don't know her that well obviously, but now after texting a bit, if I met her and sex happened fast, I wouldn't say that we are strangers fucking. More like acquaintances.

[Deleted]

Jesus Christ. You should really go to a doctor. Sounds like you have a very tight pussy. I can't help you, but it's not sex that is the problem, probably something else. And I guess using condoms will solve the dripping out problem. You should use condoms anyway.

i dont go to doctor when a man think there is something wrong with me!! there is nothing wrong!

[Radaney]

I don't sex people I date with on the first date or have any intention of going long term with.

I actually sex with random hook-ups when I'm out.

Which sounds incredibly strange now I've spelt it out like that, isn't uncommon though.

[ArguesWithStrangers]

Best policy for everyone is to wait for your wedding night. In the lifespan of a marriage it eliminates a small amount of the sex you will have, but it will prevent you from encountering the myriad of potential bad consequenses of having sex with the wrong person.

Fetishism? You mean having a type? Geez, you guys will find fault with anything.

[Tennis]

What is a stranger. If you've had a chat with someone first, is that person still a stranger.

Obviously they are still a stranger. I talk to random people near where I live. Just being polite and all but they're still strangers.

[Seirith]

Doing daygame in a 5-10 minute conversation, I usually learn about the person's age, name, location, hobbies, job and general personality, just by being exposed to them and watching them. The girl that I got a number from yesterday was very chatty, I know that she's into grindcore and loves Netflix. She loves vampires and zombies. And she is very extroverted. There were times where I could only look at her and let her talk, that's how much she loved talking. Now I don't know her that well obviously, but now after texting a bit, if I met her and sex happened fast, I wouldn't say that we are strangers fucking. More like acquaintances.

Those are very basic things which really tells me very little about who the person is beyond their intrests. If you look at anyone Facebook you can find out most people's hobbies, if they watch a lot of movies, their music tastes etc. That does not tell me their values, habits, things that real mean something to them, their struggles in life, medical health and things like that. What you know about that girl is very basic stuff she would tell anyone. Do you know her religious beliefs? If she has or wants children? If she has any STD's? Does she smoke? Does she use illegal drugs? Does she have a boyfriend?

[elaina]

Best policy for everyone is to wait for your wedding night. In the lifespan of a marriage it eliminates a small amount of the sex you will have, but it will prevent you from encountering the myriad of potential bad consequenses of having sex with the wrong person.

Bahahahahaha no

[Haven]

We live in an era when contraception exists. So what's the problem. If there's this kind of attraction going on, hell, go for it.

[Blur4stuff]

Unless you have an extremely high opinion of yourself, just keep in mind that if someone wants to fuck you right off then they've probably fucked hundreds of other people by now.

Obviously, having sex with hundreds of different people doesn't mean your vagina or penis is broken (maybe), but it is riskier both physically and emotionally. They're more likely to have contracted something and more likely to have emotional damage that you may or may not have to deal with.

[Deleted]

i dont go to doctor when a man think there is something wrong with me!! there is nothing wrong!

Yeah, constantly having pain when having sex is totally normal. It's just sex that's bad. Every woman has pain when having sex. That's why sex sucks. Why do women like it? They have to be faking it.

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Those are very basic things which really tells me very little about who the person is beyond their intrests. If you look at anyone Facebook you can find out most people's hobbies, if they watch a lot of movies, their music tastes etc. That does not tell me their values, habits, things that real mean something to them, their struggles in life, medical health and things like that.

And you obviously need to know all these things to have sex with her... Things like values and habits are something you can pick up on in a conversation. Medical health, what does that matter really? They are obviously not bed-ridden if you meet them in the streets. Struggles in life... you are overthinking this.

Do you know her religious beliefs? If she has or wants children? If she has any STD's? Does she smoke? Does she use illegal drugs? Does she have a boyfriend?

Except for STDs (seriously dude, you don't know a person until you know if she has STDs?), all of these things often come out in those 5-10 minute daygame interactions. If she has children, she'll usually walk around with them and her husband. I avoid those and in 300-400 interactions, I only met one who had children. It's stuff people talk about when chit-chatting. One time a girl told me in the first 10 minutes that she wanted to have 3 kids, but that she hates children. People talk about that stuff if it's important to them. That's what "getting to know one another" is for. If she smokes, she'll often smoke when you talk to her. Illegal drugs, fuck's sake, I wouldn't go near junkies. You can spot them in a lot of cases. And obviously girls usually mention they have a boyfriend, especially if you ask for their number, but if not, then very early-on in the text conversation. Like I said, not that you know each other very well after that, obviously, but you are beyond the stranger phase. A stranger is someone you know nothing about. So all in all it seems like you just don't talk that much to people.

[turboether]

If you're both feeling it, sure. Just temper your expectations for the future accordingly.