Beware of dates who are just in it for a free meal.

[dvaz]

Sloots been sloots.

And if the dude makes a move, omg sexual harassment / rape!

[Coconuter]

You don't have to, but if you can't, that's a sign you don't even understand it yourself.

I continued on to explain. Something like this doesn't require much explaining. I like to do something different than you. That's really all there is to it.

I don't worry about losing a few dollars on a bad date, you do. I enjoy a simple first date where somebody else takes care of pleasing my sense of taste while I focus on the person across from me. I get compliments for what I do and thanked for not being like the majority of guys. It works for me.

- - - Updated - - -

Gotta admit this is spot fucking on, you don't have to do shit, but someone who can't articulate or be specific about what they like, I have to agree with this.

Yea, except I did, with more than enough reason to justify liking a restaurant. Pretty sure nobody wants a formal essay on why I enjoy taking somebody out to a restaurant. A sentence or two is plenty.

[Tijuana]

Scenario:
Nerdy guy gets used only for his money so bitches can get free meals.
Eventually gets so fed up with being used instead of laid that he starts to do the laying.

Doesnt take a keyboard psychiatrist to figure that basic psychology out. You have people killing over clondike bars and you want to discuss the impossibility of being used for meals as a motive to start raping?

NO, you are wrong, and NOBODY shares your view. Rape is not a result of a financial slight. It is the result of a dangerous and violent criminal, who likes to dominate women. By your logic, good and decent men just rape their dates left and right, over being stuck with the tab. This is not an actual thing.

[Deleted]

Sloots been sloots.

And if the dude makes a move, omg sexual harassment / rape!

More on the lines of:

Just because you bought me dinner and some drinks....total about $150, that doesn't mean I owe you sex!

[A dot Ham]

that's what happens when the 1% own all the wealth under late stage capitalism.

people eat their own and ressort to all kinds of tricks to survive.

or maybe you're just not the ladies type idk. never happened to me.

Might want to think before you open your mouth. But seeing as you've been banned, someone else has already offered that suggestion.

Its not like the 99% are sticking it to the 1% by scamming people. They're scamming the other 99%, the other 99% who somehow have enough to pay for themselves and another human being. Which begs the question what the fuck are you doing that you can't do the same.

Are you admitting that only the males of the 99% are capable of supporting household? Why bother educating females, and fighting for equality if at the end all you do is mooch off the stronger sex. Obviously this is all very tongue in cheek. But for you to make some bullshit statement about capitalism instead of addressing the real issue that people (male and female) are shitty... is probably why you've been given a timeout. Enjoy it, it was needed.

[dvaz]

Whats up with the stigma / fear of eating alone? Fuck i love eating by myself, im usually starving by then.
No time wasting with chit chat, just my food and my phone / tablet to read stuff.

I want to eat in peace and relax.

[LMuhlen]

What if I told you your personality and what personalities you are attracted to is a mix of your upbringing and your DNA?

But mostly your DNA. Sure in a Muslim community for instance a woman would be told not to fall in love with a Christian but the brain doesn't really care about what your Mom told you growing up, you'll be attracted to whomever your brain wants you to be attracted to.

Yes, sure. Issue here is that I don't think it's viable to encompass the entire context of my arguments in every post, but this was an answer to women wanting stronger men who can protect them because Savannah, thus the best course of action for anyone who doesn't want to need to pay for dinner on a date is to go to the gym. In this context, personality was the counter point to looks (in particular muscly look), and Savannah doesn't care about personalities. So women wanting good personality shouldn't exist because it's a trait not encompassed with the reptilian brain thing which mandates finding a partner who will help the offspring succeed against predators.

Well, the obvious answer here is, women don't actually want that. Always listen to a woman's actions, never to her words. Women don't want to be respected as equals, they want a strong man who leads them. Whether it's in the bedroom or outside.

Yeah, rapists love that mentality.

For a while there I thought you were defending respecting women, but I guess I took it all wrong.

[Deleted]

I just do, I pick relaxing restaurants with good food and wine simply because I enjoy it.

Ok. I enjoy a lot of things, too. I enjoy watching a movie at a cinema. But that doesn't make it a good first date. You barely get to talk to one another, you sit in the dark, no way to really escalate things verbally. Terrible choice for a date, even though I enjoy watching a movie. Now a restaurant is an equally bad choice. You sit across from each other, it's hard to get physical, you watch each other stuff food in your mouths, it puts you in the provider box etc. Even though I enjoy food as much as I enjoy watching a film, this is stuff I do with friends. Not on dates. Nobody says you can't do stuff you like, it just doesn't make it a good date.

I enjoy sitting down with somebody and talking in that type of environment

And talking in a bar or a cafe is not enjoyable? It's totally different, right.

I enjoy it, and it works for me. I've never been turned down for a second date, or third, or fourth. So why should I change it?

Of course you're not getting turned down for more dates. You've just established yourself as a provider. They're gonna get more free meals out of you. The real question is how many times have you had sex on a first date?

Why not a bar, or even a coffee shop? Because I'm not going to meet up with somebody and offer a couple drinks, like the vast majority of guys wanting to play it safe for themselves or just hoping for a hook up.

What is "playing it safe" about going to a bar or a coffee shop? You have way better opportunities to escalate things verbally or physically. You can get touchy a lot faster and go for the kiss a lot sooner. Last time I was with a girl at a bar, I went for the first kiss within minutes and she reciprocated. How often have you kissed a girl within minutes of sitting down at a dinner table with her? Sounds like dinner is much more playing it safe and taking things slow, then going to a bar where you can sit next to each other, hold hands, embrace and kiss. I think you are playing it safe. I'm certainly not. I'm going all in.

Quite a few girls have told me they are very happy that I didn't want to meet for drinks and they usually go into dates like that with their guard up. I'd rather just have things start off with both of us happy.

Never listen to a girl's words, always listen to her actions. Again, ask yourself, how soon did you get how intimate with these girls and then ask yourself how fast things would've gone at a different venue like a bar. If they say they usually go into these dates with their guard up and they don't when you're going to a restaurant with them, that is not a good thing. If they feel too comfortable around you that means you've built too much rapport. If they are not on their guard with you, then that means they don't expect you to go for it. They think you are safe. Safe is boring. Safe is friendzone. So be honest, how many of the girls you went on a date with did you end up fucking. Truth here, please.

I'd rather just have things start off with both of us happy.

Why wouldn't both of you be happy in a bar or a cafe? It's literally the same thing, just with less food options, cheaper and with better seating.

[Doctor Amadeus]

Yea, except I did, with more than enough reason to justify liking a restaurant. Pretty sure nobody wants a formal essay on why I enjoy taking somebody out to a restaurant. A sentence or two is plenty.

Oh no not you sorry, I just meant in general over all. You're fine

[Freighter]

If I'm your daddy you better put out and not talk to any dudes ( and this will never happen so I'm not your daddy ).

No, you're not my father because my father is my father. Why would my father even care about putting out and not talking to any dudes?

I have all the money I need and could go on a holiday anywhere in the world on a whim, tomorrow.

That doesn't really mean much. I could go on a holiday where I want to and it would likely be cheaper than my monthly costs here.

[Deleted]

I continued on to explain. Something like this doesn't require much explaining. I like to do something different than you. That's really all there is to it.

That still isn't an explanation as to why, so I assume you just don't know.

I don't worry about losing a few dollars on a bad date, you do.

I do worry about giving money to people who only want to take advantage of me. And I know that girls will put me in the providerbox if I pay for them, and expect more commitment, rather than fast, wild animal sex.

I enjoy a simple first date where somebody else takes care of pleasing my sense of taste while I focus on the person across from me.

What the fuck does that even mean. You pay for dinner because you enjoy "somebody else taking care of pleasing your sense of taste". So you mean, you like for someone else to do the cooking while you talk to the girl. Well... that... still doesn't explain why you have to go out for dinner. Just eat before the date? So then you can go out and do something other than eating? Something more fun, like going to a karaoke bar? I mean it's really no argument. I mean nobody suggested you do the cooking on the first date while simultaneously trying to have a conversation with a woman. "Oh my god, the only alternative is going to an expensive restaurant." Just admit that you wanna buy her affection with a nice, expensive restaurant visit. That is the only reason you would do this. People eat food every day without going to restaurants. Just eat something before the date, and tell your girl to meet you at a bar for drinks. Don't tell me you can have better conversations in a restaurant than in a bar. If anything, it's worse, cause you're constantly eating, have food in your mouth, stuck between your teeth, etc. Drinks are much more casual.

I get compliments for what I do and thanked for not being like the majority of guys. It works for me.

Yeah you're not like the majority of guys. The majority of guys don't pay for her meals and instead get quick sex from her for not being a provider. You are different. You are like her girlfriend. She feels safe around you. And you pay for everything! Well done, boy!

- - - Updated - - -

"Interesting" and "charming" do not denote personality. Nor does appearance.

Interesting and charming are not part of someone's personality? I think you need to... read some books or something. Because that was nonsensical.

- - - Updated - - -

More on the lines of:

That's why you don't spend 150$ on a girl.

[Deleted]

That doesn't really mean much. I could go on a holiday where I want to and it would likely be cheaper than my monthly costs here.

The idea he was trying to present is that by cutting costs on women he has more money left in his pocket. This being said I think we all know the men is "supposed" to pay for stuff if he's with a women. Where each draws the line and considers it a good deal, depends. And in very very few relationships is the other way arround, at least in this day and age.

[Farrarie]

for me its rude to let a woman spend money in the meal
but maybe because our culture don't have much dating only marriage and a man should always be responsible for his family

[Deleted]

That's why you don't spend 150$ on a girl.

I don't, it was way smaller ammount, things are cheaper here. But I sure had a few "talks" with a few girls revolving this subject and their assumption for me to pay the bill is out of this world. Talking about women feeling like pricesses.

[Deleted]

Whats up with the stigma / fear of eating alone? Fuck i love eating by myself, im usually starving by then.
No time wasting with chit chat, just my food and my phone / tablet to read stuff.

I want to eat in peace and relax.

Eating food for many people is like a ritual. Ever since I started losing weight, I have really started to see food as something different. Instead of a source of pleasure I see it more like fuel. I wouldn't even be able to eat anything in the evening right now. I do intermittent fasting and eat all my meals in 4 hours, today it was from 12:30 to 16:30. If someone wanted to go to dinner with me, I would most likely order nothing, like I did recently when I went to a chinese restaurant with 2 girls. I just don't get some people's eating habits anymore.

[Deleted]

Eating food for many people is like a ritual. Ever since I started losing weight, I have really started to see food as something different. Instead of a source of pleasure I see it more like fuel. I wouldn't even be able to eat anything in the evening right now. I do intermittent fasting and eat all my meals in 4 hours, today it was from 12:30 to 16:30. If someone wanted to go to dinner with me, I would most likely order nothing, like I did recently when I went to a chinese restaurant with 2 girls. I just don't get some people's eating habits anymore.

Ex so disliked this as well, I just order drinks at night, water/coffee and maybe one soft drink. She took it presonal, like I was either cheap or didn't wanna eat with her. Yet when I take off the shirt she recognized that lifting and healty eating worked on me.

[dvaz]

If you don't want this to happen start asking for fairer wages

Hahahahhaaha good one mate.

Oh wait you're serious.

[Deleted]

Yeah, rapists love that mentality.

For a while there I thought you were defending respecting women, but I guess I took it all wrong.

Someone who leads =/= rapist

By lead I mean telling a girl "let's meet for drinks at 8" or taking a girl's hand, standing up and saying "let's go". Don't ask a girl if she wants to meet for drinks. Don't ask a girl if she wants to change locations. Don't ask a girl if she wants to come home with you. Just stand up and start walking. If she asks where you are going, say "on an adventure" or "I live near here, let's watch the movie we talked about earlier". None of this is rape. But as it comes to sex, it is important you lead there too. Don't ask a girl if you can kiss her. Don't ask a girl if you can touch her breasts. Don't ask a girl if you can enter her vagina. Just do it. She will tell you when she doesn't want it. Then you can pull back. But if you ask for permission, you will not get anything.

[Coconuter]

Ok. I enjoy a lot of things, too. I enjoy watching a movie at a cinema. But that doesn't make it a good first date. You barely get to talk to one another, you sit in the dark, no way to really escalate things verbally. Terrible choice for a date, even though I enjoy watching a movie. Now a restaurant is an equally bad choice. You sit across from each other, it's hard to get physical, you watch each other stuff food in your mouths, it puts you in the provider box etc. Even though I enjoy food as much as I enjoy watching a film, this is stuff I do with friends. Not on dates. Nobody says you can't do stuff you like, it just doesn't make it a good date.


And talking in a bar or a cafe is not enjoyable? It's totally different, right.



Of course you're not getting turned down for more dates. You've just established yourself as a provider. They're gonna get more free meals out of you. The real question is how many times have you had sex on a first date?


What is "playing it safe" about going to a bar or a coffee shop? You have way better opportunities to escalate things verbally or physically. You can get touchy a lot faster and go for the kiss a lot sooner. Last time I was with a girl at a bar, I went for the first kiss within minutes and she reciprocated. How often have you kissed a girl within minutes of sitting down at a dinner table with her? Sounds like dinner is much more playing it safe and taking things slow, then going to a bar where you can sit next to each other, hold hands, embrace and kiss. I think you are playing it safe. I'm certainly not. I'm going all in.


Never listen to a girl's words, always listen to her actions. Again, ask yourself, how soon did you get how intimate with these girls and then ask yourself how fast things would've gone at a different venue like a bar. If they say they usually go into these dates with their guard up and they don't when you're going to a restaurant with them, that is not a good thing. If they feel too comfortable around you that means you've built too much rapport. If they are not on their guard with you, then that means they don't expect you to go for it. They think you are safe. Safe is boring. Safe is friendzone. So be honest, how many of the girls you went on a date with did you end up fucking. Truth here, please.


Why wouldn't both of you be happy in a bar or a cafe? It's literally the same thing, just with less food options, cheaper and with better seating.

So basically you're going on and on that you want to fuck as many girls as you can for as little money. Got it.

Since all you want to know is, how fast have things gone for me. No, I don't kiss girls within a couple minutes. I'm not a creep/rapist. They hopefully aren't whores.

I also never invite them over or ask to go over on a first date, so no, after the first date I'm not sleeping with them. I can wait a few days or weeks, I have self control.

As for how many? I've turned two girls down after the first date, all others continued on and I slept with them. Since that somehow matters so much towards the fact that I take people out to dinner.

I actually will continue to listen to what a woman has to say and will gladly not listen to your poor advice. I enjoy dating people and their company. I'm not trying to be a rapey overgrown frat boy who can't put his life together.

- - - Updated - - -

Eating food for many people is like a ritual. Ever since I started losing weight, I have really started to see food as something different. Instead of a source of pleasure I see it more like fuel. I wouldn't even be able to eat anything in the evening right now. I do intermittent fasting and eat all my meals in 4 hours, today it was from 12:30 to 16:30. If someone wanted to go to dinner with me, I would most likely order nothing, like I did recently when I went to a chinese restaurant with 2 girls. I just don't get some people's eating habits anymore.

Also I don't need to lose weight like you. I'm in damn good shape and eat anything I like. I work out 15+ hours a week and don't have to worry about too many calories.

[dvaz]

I don't mind paying / inviting / treating my girlfriend to nice place. That's because the relationship is mutual and i want to treat her right and make her feel special, $$$ is a non issue at that point.

But pay for some random hoe in tinder? FUCK NO.