Girl Scouts : Hugging relatives during the holidays violates consent

[Underverse]

The problem with this like this is that it takes away from more serious forms of sexual misconduct. Getting a kid to give and receive postive affection isn't misconduct, and sometimes is something that has be taught encouraged because kids are finicky without a cause. I remember when I was little I didn't want to hug my aunt because she had a skin tag on her arm. I was being a little shit about it too. This lady traveled across 5 states and was nothing but kind to me but I couldn't hug her because of a flap of a superficial flap of skin on her arm. My parents could've let me act like a shit, perhaps grow up into a person who turns his nose to people with visible imperfections or they could've made me stop being a little shit and hug my aunt.

I think the article could have done a better job of getting its point across without the sensationalism.

A nice middle-ground position

[LiiLoSNK]

No. Immaturity is not recognizing that there can be reasons kids might not want to hug family members and that not everyone is lucky enough family as nice as yours.

Realizing these things obviously plays a part in the entire dynamic. If any one of us were to hit the ground screaming and crying when told to go near someone who abused us, obviously we wouldn't be forced to anyone at that point.

[Crissi]

I think its important to ask why they don't want to hug. If they're just being snotty over it (example: She has a skin tag!), then while I wouldnt force the issue, they also would lose any perks form the visit (like dessert or tv time).

Kids should learn consent, but they shoudnt have snotty attitudes coddled either.

[Ghostpanther]

The problem with this like this is that it takes away from more serious forms of sexual misconduct. Getting a kid to give and receive postive affection isn't misconduct, and sometimes is something that has be taught encouraged because kids are finicky without a cause. I remember when I was little I didn't want to hug my aunt because she had a skin tag on her arm. I was being a little shit about it too. This lady traveled across 5 states and was nothing but kind to me but I couldn't hug her because of a flap of a superficial flap of skin on her arm. My parents could've let me act like a shit, perhaps grow up into a person who turns his nose to people with visible imperfections or they could've made me stop being a little shit and hug my aunt.

I think the article could have done a better job of getting its point across without the sensationalism.

Good example and I agree about the sensationalism. But that is what the media feeds to the public everyday. And in too many cases, a false representation.

[Powerogue]

This is one of those things where I agree mainly because I'm antisocial, so I'm probably not a good point of reference. I never did like feeling obliged to that, but making it into a consent thing is reaching even by my standards.

Yeah I agree, there's no real reason to force them to hug a family member. But they should be told that they should. You don't want to be raising autistic children, and lack of socialization is one cause.

Forcing socialization on me didn't make me more social any more than forcing P.E. on me as a kid made me love exercise. Quite the opposite in both circumstances.

[Izalla]

I should also add for all the people saying this whole concept is just "retarded feminism", that I don't buy into feminism or SJW nonsense, and this whole thing still strikes a huge cord with me and how it impacted me when I was a child.

[Underverse]

Socializing doesn't equate to being physically intimate with someone. It certainly doesn't make them autistic. That's a pretty dumb thing to say.

Physical contact is an important part of human social behavior. We already live in a society that hates most forms of touch except in very specific conditions. I would rather not propagate these kinds of highly conservative ideologies.

And yes, lack of socialization is a risk factor for autism, which is why screen-device use before a certain age increase the risk of autism.

[Icechaosss]

Where are you people getting rape from?

Think it has to do with the word "Consent".

I made the same mistake earlier that Nexx won't leave me alone about.

And I still maintain that, while I did jump the gun because of the word, I feel as though the phrasing of the article itself is what made me react the way I did. Though it still was a little drastic.

[Xargoth6634]

Is this the 50s when the girl scouts were still relevant? This is fucking absurd.

[Underverse]

And this one. You're just arguing against yourself at this point and trying to wiggle your way out of your shitty comparison.

You still haven't provided any convincing arguments as to why it's not a reasonable comparison.

And, lo and behold, you're not presenting any arguments here either.

[rayden54]

Realizing these things obviously plays a part in the entire dynamic. If any one of us were to hit the ground screaming and crying when told to go near someone who abused us, obviously we wouldn't be forced to anyone at that point.

You're right. The problem is, your previous posts make it clear that you don't know how to recognize these things. Instead, you've resorted to spouting insults at the people who do. Especially if you think that most abused kids are going to "hit the ground screaming and crying when told to go near someone who abused" them.

[LiiLoSNK]

How is that a healthy understanding of people's feelings? "Hug them anyway so they don't feel bad". That's the opposite of a healthy understanding. That's giving people what they want out of pity or guilt.

Learning that a 2 second hug is equal to a lifetime of comfort was my healthy understanding. You're putting hugs on some sort of crazy pedestal, so clearly your hugs were weirder than mine. You live quite a "wacky" life and I hope you get the help you need.

[Underverse]

Forcing socialization on me didn't make me more social any more than forcing P.E. on me as a kid made me love exercise. Quite the opposite in both circumstances.

Well, we don't really know that, because we can't view alternative timelines. I was very antisocial too as a kid, and I still am now. I didn't like touching people when I was younger, and I didn't like people touching me. Still, I hugged grandma even though I didn't want to. Now, I'm very physically intimate in my relationships even though I'm antisocial in general. Whether or not having physical touch forced upon me as a child contributed to my contemporary physical intimacy is a question I can't answer. But I think that door is open.

I also think that having that kind of contact with family members made me feel like I was more a part of the family, despite always being an outsider. I didn't value it back then, but looking back I do think it had value, since I now have very strong family bonds.

[Tierbook]

See, someone told me I was exaggerating saying I thought some things in this article were wrong with how my perception family works.

But my dude you jumped to Pedophilia. Like, you went from hugs to molestation.

Hoo boy.

What did your grandma not sneak a finger in when she hugged you?

[LiiLoSNK]

You're right. The problem is, your previous posts make it clear that you don't know how to recognize these things. Instead, you've resorted to spouting insults at the people who do. Especially if you think that most abused kids are going to "hit the ground screaming and crying when told to go near someone who abused" them.

So just because you didn't hit the ground and scream when told to hug a rapist, means I wouldn't? I'm sorry that your families sucked and that you think it's an "insult" that I correctly assumed that the people with weird families would start flipping out.

[rayden54]

So just because you didn't hit the ground and scream when told to hug a rapist, means I wouldn't? I'm sorry that your families sucked and that you think it's an "insult" that I correctly assumed that the people with weird families would start flipping out.

You know absolutely nothing about how abused kids act.

[LiiLoSNK]

I made the same mistake earlier that Nexx won't leave me alone about.

Weird how he kind of clings onto people like that. Even from thread to thread. Totally normal behavior from a normal upbringing.

10/10 would respect his opinion of how to be normal again.

[Rexosaurus]

Uh, that seems pretty outlandish to me.

As someone who was encouraged to hug my relatives as a kid, I can safely say that the only thing it taught me was that I should be thankful for the love/gifts that my relatives had for me. It definitely did not extend to any situation outside of that. I've never thought "Well I had to hug my granny when she got me a baseball cap, I guess that means I have to let this girl sex me up because she paid for dinner."

I mean don't FORCE your kids to hug relatives, but I don't think it's a bad idea to encourage it. I wouldn't want my kids to take people/presents for granted and become spoiled. Maybe that's just me though.

[LiiLoSNK]

You know absolutely nothing about how abused kids act.

I wish I were raised extremely shittily so that I could know how abused kids act, but unfortunately I was raised to appreciate my family through hugs. Weird how that shit works.

[Underverse]

Physical contact with people you want to be physical with is important. I don't see what it has to do with normal socializing at all though. I can have a conversation with someone just fine without ever touching them. I can shake someone's hands without being bothered. I'm not going to be comfortable hugging a stranger though. That doesn't make me socially inept. You're suggesting lack of socialization causes autism? I'm pretty sure it's the other way around. It seems more likely to be genetic than developmental though.

Regardless, you can still be social without physical contact. So your point is moot.

Well, it doesn't make you socially inept by our culture's standards. Autism has genetic predispositions and environmental influences. I'm not saying that sticking a baby in front of an ipad will give them autism, but it will increase their risk of developing it.

Point two, 'social' behaviors include physical and non-physical behaviors. You can be strictly non-physically social if you want, but you're not being as social as someone who includes physical behaviors. I think this distinction is important because non-damaging touch has trust building properties, and trust is a pillar of human society. In my opinion, people should be more physically engaged with one another, whether it's friends, family, or significant others. I think this would increase trust overall and make for a kinder society, where people are more likely to help one another.