I must complain about my female friend.

[Seezer]

The guy that never had a job, he just flips stuff and then drink all day, like you see on all those dozen of shows on Discovery. The "slick" guys are usually the real "bad boys".

Wow, that's pretty crazy. I just got done posting about ID discovery XD. I didn't even see your post.

[Sorrior]

And you know what the worst thing is? If you try to lower your "standard" you will be midly happy a bit but not that much and you will end up being that "jerk" that broke up with her because yeah she was smart but she wasn't that attractive, or she was attractive but she wasn't that smart.

So the best thing is to just have "friends" and maybe "friends with benefits", type of relationships where you know what you get, what she gets. But I guess that's how my uber rational thinking sees it.

Would if i could..Ahem health issues is all i will say....

---------- Post added 2013-03-11 at 07:38 PM ----------

This is what happens alot of times with girls too. They find a guy who is nice, financially stable or well off, who treats them well, but they aren't sexually attracted to. So what happens inevitably? They want hot sex. And they will find it. Anyone who has ever watched Investigative Discovery can see what I'm talking about.

See i COULD deal with that if the woman i'm with is happy...Hell might want to get involved...But yeah it is the way it is LOL.

---------- Post added 2013-03-11 at 07:40 PM ----------

You do know that the majority of men do not fall into the "rich guy" group and still get married. the female may not find the friendzoned guy sexually attractive, how many guys have female friends that are great people but friendzoned because they don't find them sexually attractive. I find that generally most guys when talking about how all women are "Gold-diggers" are only talking about one type of woman, the ones they think are smoking hot. Most of the time, at younger ages, those types of women do want to date "up" because they know they can.

At least in my case was just missed opportunities....She told me point blank..

It really is about luck, money, looks, abilities in bed and so on.

[Ghul]

you are meeting the wrong women it seems, not really surprising if the only way you meet them is at parties.
there are women out there who would kill for a man who simply treats them right, they can devote their entire life for such a man and they dont even care about his money, looks or fame.
ofc you wont find these women in bars or discos, they are not the type to "party hard", and no i have no idea where you could most likely find them either :P, but still generalizing all women to be party-addicted career-whores is extremely shallow...

[Sorrior]

you are meeting the wrong women it seems, not really surprising if the only way you meet them is at parties.
there are women out there who would kill for a man who simply treats them right, they can devote their entire life for such a man and they dont even care about his money, looks or fame.
ofc you wont find these women in bars or discos, they are not the type to "party hard", and no i have no idea where you could most likely find them either :P, but still generalizing all women to be party-addicted career-whores is extremely shallow...

LOL i have only been to a bar ONCE in my entire life...And that WAS with a woman...As far as parties at least for me go i don't go to them.

I'm a real homebody type LOL.

[Ghul]

LOL i have only been to a bar ONCE in my entire life...And that WAS with a woman...As far as parties at least for me go i don't go to them.

I'm a real homebody type LOL.

still doesnt change the fact that theres many more types of women out there than you think. you will have to work yourself through all the cunts until you find the true love... its the same for women who have to work themselves through all the self absorbed assholes who think women are their property, before they find their man.

the things worth having, are the things that are hardest to get.

[Deleted]

I'm a real homebody type LOL.

Bane of our existance. Also does not help that you are looking for about the same in a women and she is looking for the same but you never meet. Had that problem with a few female friends that were almost like me and when I would take that "extra step" she would just go back.

[Sorrior]

still doesnt change the fact that theres many more types of women out there than you think. you will have to work yourself through all the cunts until you find the true love... its the same for women who have to work themselves through all the self absorbed assholes who think women are their property, before they find their man.

the things worth having, are the things that are hardest to get.

LOL don't i know it..VERY well...And i'm not the give up type anyways not in my nature. I'll fight anything tooth and nail if i have to. So yeah i'm just gonna keep on trucking and looking...I hope most people here do that as well... Just because some maybe even most people in a group are assholes doens't mean everyone is LOL.

---------- Post added 2013-03-11 at 07:52 PM ----------

Bane of our existance. Also does not help that you are looking for about the same in a women and she is looking for the same but you never meet. Had that problem with a few female friends that were almost like me and when I would take that "extra step" she would just go back.

Yep tell me about it man..Looking at getting a job at a local hobby store..Gonna save up and start my own business i think....A club/bar for the nerds. Where D&D is played, karaoke is sung, video games are encouraged and provided and on the TV things like The Arrow and Anime..Toonami staurdays if it's still on and so on..By nerds FOR nerds.

Most people i tell agree it would be a BIG hit.

Also it came to me after one of my exes broke up and people kept telling me to go to a bar LOL.

[Ebildays]

At least in my case was just missed opportunities....She told me point blank..

It really is about luck, money, looks, abilities in bed and so on.

There is nothing you can do about luck but the rest is up to personal preference of the woman or man.

[Sorrior]

There is nothing you can do about luck but the rest is up to personal preference of the woman or man.

LOL yep and my preferences are generally toward nerdier nicer women....Those who are understanding. Looks are honestly pretty secondary for me. I've found the more i care about someone the less their looks matter to me LOL.

[Deleted]

She sounds like me. I can't say I have a habit of taking men like that as I've only dated 3 over 2 years but every time I truly believed they can be changed or that better that it's all out in the open than someone who smiles and lies just to get you to bed and then turns around and cheats.

After the last breakup, I believed that all men are scum and liars and decided not to date anyone till I'm completely over him. It's been nearly a year now and I think it was the right choice. I think it was because I was in a rut. Dated a jerk, got hurt, then the next one came and used the situation.. and so on. The only bad thing is that maybe I'm a bit too paranoid now

[Aspect of Death]

LOL yep and my preferences are generally toward nerdier nicer women....Those who are understanding. Looks are honestly pretty secondary for me. I've found the more i care about someone the less their looks matter to me LOL.

There are alot of nerdie women that are hot though^^

And for the looks part, i hear people say it over and over. And i wish i could say i agree, but i really don't think "Personality matters, not looks".

She sounds like me. I can't say I have a habit of taking men like that as I've only dated 3 over 2 years but every time I truly believed they can be changed or that better that it's all out in the open than someone who smiles and lies just to get you to bed and then turns around and cheats.

Did they cheat on you (or other things) after say 3 months, then 5months (etc) and you forgave them/believed them and was still with them for 2ish years?

[Laize]

My female friend has really bad taste in men. Everyone knows it. She knows it. Every time she gets a new man, everyone tells her it's a bad idea, that it's going to end poorly, that she can do a lot better, etc. But she never listens. She always dates these dummies and they always fuck everything up and she always ends up miserable. Whatever. Not an uncommon story. Some women just have bad taste in men.

But today, after her latest fling bails on her, she goes on Facebook and posts the "All men are assholes whaaaa!!" deal. WHAT? Every fucking time she dates these guys that she knows are awful. Everyone tells her they're awful. They all end in the exact same way and she knows they're going to end that way. But somehow all of us assholes because she has shitty tastes in men. What the shit? I don't blame all women for the fact that I can't get laid. I blame myself because I'm physically unattractive and have a bad personality. Why can't people do the same? Why is it never their shitty life choices, but that the other sex is shallow/stupid/slutty/etc.? Why is it so hard for people who suck to accept that they suck?

People (not just women, men do this exact behavior you describe too) have a hard time seeing that the only common denominator in ALL of their bad relationships is themselves. They can never quite admit to themselves that maybe their taste in the opposite sex needs some re-evaluation. That truth is uncomfortable. It's much easier (for them) to blame the entire opposite sex ("Men are all assholes", "Women are all cheating, lying whores") than accept the fact that maybe, psychologically, their attraction switches get flipped by men who tend to be assholes or women who tend to be cheating, lying whores and they may have to change something about what they've been doing.

Or... TL;DR - "Keep doing what you've been doing, and you'll keep getting what you've been getting." People like your friend are the ones that need to change. They shouldn't expect others to change for them without given a single reason to do so.

[Sorrior]

There are alot of nerdie women that are hot though^^

And for the looks part, i hear people say it over and over. And i wish i could say i agree, but i really don't think "Personality matters, not looks".



Did they cheat on you (or other things) after say 3 months, then 5months (etc) and you forgave them/believed them and was still with them for 2ish years?

LOL tell me about it..One reason i fell for that woman..She was quite literally the woman I'd been dreaming of since i was a teen...Both mentally AND physically...

---------- Post added 2013-03-11 at 09:25 PM ----------

People (not just women, men do this exact behavior you describe too) have a hard time seeing that the only common denominator in ALL of their bad relationships is themselves. They can never quite admit to themselves that maybe their taste in the opposite sex needs some re-evaluation. That truth is uncomfortable. It's much easier (for them) to blame the entire opposite sex ("Men are all assholes", "Women are all cheating, lying whores") than accept the fact that maybe, psychologically, their attraction switches get flipped by men who tend to be assholes or women who tend to be cheating, lying whores and they may have to change something about what they've been doing.

Or... TL;DR - "Keep doing what you've been doing, and you'll keep getting what you've been getting." People like your friend are the ones that need to change. They shouldn't expect others to change for them without given a single reason to do so.

I admit it..I have NEVER faulted an ex for breaking up with me...I just take it as a sign that i need to grow more...Sadly i seem to have a thing where i won;t feel "finished" unless i can become unto a god.

[Laize]

And for the looks part, i hear people say it over and over. And i wish i could say i agree, but i really don't think "Personality matters, not looks".

I would, in all honestly, prefer to date a 7 who was understanding, interested in at least some of my (very esoteric) avocations, and could routinely hold an intelligent discussion (wherein she didn't simply regurgitate "information she read on the internet" that she didn't bother internalizing and analyzing herself) than a vapid, superficial airhead who was a perfect 10.

I have a more unconventional taste in physical beauty than most guys, anyway. (At least most guy's I've met. I prefer a "curvier" look rather than the slim, tone, goes-to-the-gym-every-day figure.)

[schwank05]

Maybe the sex is amazing?

This could be the only reason for me to see it as a reason to do it over and over.

[The Riddler]

I would, in all honestly, prefer to date a 7 who was understanding, interested in at least some of my (very esoteric) avocations, and could routinely hold an intelligent discussion (wherein she didn't simply regurgitate "information she read on the internet" that she didn't bother internalizing and analyzing herself) than a vapid, superficial airhead who was a perfect 10.

Well - what I generally talk about when I'm discussing this issue is the "Initial Attraction" phase. I'd say that a good solid 75% of all - for lack of a better term - filtration passes that men & women make on dating material are based on the superficial attributes previously mentioned.

For guys, that filtration pass will just automatically toss out the cool "7" in favor of the ditzy "9+" when it is available. For women, the filtration pass will pick the jerky "7" who has a huge wad of cash and pass by the nice-guy "7" right next to her. So if you line up a bunch of guys & gals in a social situation like a bar, or a party, or a concert, or whatever - then most people who are "available" will more often than not beeline towards the stacked ditz (guys) or the rich/powerful jerk (girls). So you'll end up with a big flock of people around the Alpha Male or the Hawt Girl while the nice but average folks have been mentally relegated to 2nd class citizens who only get attention if things strike out with the preferred targets.

Different situations lend to different dynamics of course. Give a person enough time & proximity (such working with them, or having the same college class) you can maybe get your shots in. But I've found that most folks have these "filters" on at all times - even when they're not in a singles bar or other social situation where they're after a date. For women - if you're a "nice guy" who is only a 7 out of 10 and doesn't fit the mental filter of what a girl wants then she'll keep you at a distance. But when what she WANTS strolls in the room - BOING - she's on them like black on a bowling ball. And even in non-social situations that filter is telling a girl that what she wants is money/power/fame. Same goes for guys. They'll settle for the "7", but they've still got their eye out for that "9"...

[Deleted]

Did they cheat on you (or other things) after say 3 months, then 5months (etc) and you forgave them/believed them and was still with them for 2ish years?

Kinda.. the first one just disappeared after 2 months without a word. Then the next one got abusive and started using very vulgar language, even in public so I left him and finally the last relationship lasted the longest. I gave it everything I could, forgave his horrible behavior, tried talking to him, it only got worse. Then found out he had been cheating me for months with a co-worker already and the sad part was I was willing to forgive him even then.
Good thing a dear friend intervened and helped me get over him..

[Grym]

Post on her FB:

"Told you so, you fucking asked for it."

[Deleted]

Ask her this: *Name one thing that all your failed relationships have in common.* Then walk away.

[oblivionx]

You have seen bad people? As in "He have the looks of someone that is a bad guy, he will break your heart"?

And good people with good people like you say. What if the guy who looks like a bad person, really is a good person but you just decided to jugde him by the way he looked?

If you know someone that say "Have beaten their girlfriends", or "He fucked 5 women while in a previous relationship" etc then one could say "There is a chance he will do the same to you". But not, "This guy has tattoos, he looks like a cheater, and he drives a bike, he is bad and will hurt you!"^^
/

I only comment from after the fact really.

A lot of times the really bad people have most people fooled.

Though I'll admit to being one of the few they didn't fool and never fool. I look for little things in people, stuff like the guy that shows up empty handed every party and partakes the most of what other's brought.

Last time it was this guy "mike" and everyone loved mike. Really, I think I was the only one that didn't like him...I kept it to myself (well 'cept for a few close friends) and a couple times I got "I can't believe you don't like mike".. then mike cheated on his wife, emptied her bank account and stole her dog on top of giving her a nice beating. After that I got some "how did you know???". I don't have an answer past "he makes my spider sense tingle".