Is it inevitable for a male and female friend to become romantically involved?

[Salandrin]

I've been wondering myself about this. Simply put, if you're in a relationship with someone of the opposite gender for a long time as just close friends or almost like family, do you believe that it's almost unavoidable that at a certain point, they will blossom a romance or something more cherished than friendship?

[Gemini Sunrise]

No, don't be a fool. It only goes forward if you want it to. Nothing more.

[Rukentuts]

If the male or female is subservient to their sexual impulses, which not everybody is.

[Monoxyde]

i had a completely platonic female friend for almost 30 years and then there was some issues in her life and next thing i know we had ruined our friendship by getting involved. so i'd say, probably.

[Deleted]

Not everyone is ruled by the brain that lives in their trousers.

[Deleted]

not in my case anyway, Ive about 5 female friends and ive never had anything between them. I just dont think its worth the fallout if it doesnt work out.

[zhero]

given enough time, one of them may develop romantic/pelvic feeling, however, it is normally going to end up just being unrequited.

[TEHPALLYTANK]

Did you stop to think of people who are homosexual before asking this question? Cause either you didn't think of that or you worded the question poorly.

[Deleted]

Not at all. I do however believe that for these type of friendships to really work there always needs to be one person that is attracted/interested in the other person. I don't really believe in 100% platonic male-female friendships, unless they are "gurlfriends" of course..

[Monoxyde]

Did you stop to think of people who are homosexual before asking this question? Cause either you didn't think of that or you worded the question poorly.

you could just assume that he meant heterosexual's, since that's obviously what the OP meant.

[Lynarii]

I've had plenty of friends of both genders over the years that I never dated. Not because there was anything wrong with them or there was never any opportunities to give it a shot, but it simply wasn't the relationship that we had and none of us wanted to change it.

The idea that /anything/ is inevitable in a social sense is a cop out for people who don't want to take responsibility for their actions. Nobody can (legally) force you into a relationship with a person, if you can't control yourself it's a failing on your part.

[Hyve]

No, but it does happen quite a lot, but generally for all the wrong reasons.

Taking just a quick look online at how most people act, they seem to believe that by being nice to a girl, she should almost be obligated to have sex with them. It wouldn't be much of a stretch to assume a lot of guys think the same way, which quite frankly, is stupid.

[koodledrum]

I've got plenty of female friends and don't feel the urge to become romantically involved with most of them, it would be idiotic of me to suggest there's none of my female friends I haven't at some point thought about like that, but it's a very small minority and even then it's something that could likely be considered a "phase" and the result of idle gossip & rumour. That might have a lot to do with the fact I tend to have friends who are similar to me thus I'm not entirely sure I would find them being 100% compatible based around the fact it would perhaps get pretty boring pretty quickly.

[Rabian]

I have had several completely platonic friendships with asian guys, I do not find asian males attractive, and they do not find white women attractive, so we got along great as gaming buddies for years but most other male friendships ended in either
A.) Guy friend gets crush, I do not find him attractive that way, friendship ends
B.) Mutual attraction between me and guy friend, relationship starts, ends, friendship ends

So conclusion...it is very possible to have a platonic friendship if you know what you are/ are not attracted to.

[Lynarii]

Not at all. I do however believe that for these type of friendships to really work there always needs to be one person that is attracted/interested in the other person. I don't really believe in 100% platonic male-female friendships, unless they are "gurlfriends" of course..

So gay men and lesbian women are forever forbidden from friendship? Damn, you had better tell that to some of the people I've known, they were under the impression that their friendships worked just fine.

Different people are different. There is no one rule that defines who can and can't be friends, or even one rule that defines what constitutes a friendship.

[PaladinBash]

I'd root a female friend if they were remotely decent looking or I was drunk or bored. Definitely. I'd be a fool not to. Does that mean I actively chase after them and pander to their every whim like some friendzoned 14yo virgin? God no but I'd still screw them if I wanted to. Hell I have a few times when I did. Nothing bad comes from it unless you lie and make it out to be some big romantic thing. The issue there is lying to your friends not having sex with them.

[Deleted]

So gay men and lesbian women are forever forbidden from friendship? Damn, you had better tell that to some of the people I've known, they were under the impression that their friendships worked just fine.

Different people are different. There is no one rule that defines who can and can't be friends, or even one rule that defines what constitutes a friendship.

We are talking about two heterosexual people, one male and the other female having a friendship. Where exactly does homosexuality enter this discussion? I believe this is more of the rule rather than the exception. A heterosexual guy having a completely platonic friendship with a heterosexual girl is the exception here I believe.

[Lynarii]

I'd root a female friend if they were remotely decent looking or I was drunk or bored. Definitely. I'd be a fool not to. Does that mean I actively chase after them and pander to their every whim like some friendzoned 14yo virgin? God no but I'd still screw them if I wanted to. Hell I have a few times when I did. Nothing bad comes from it unless you lie and make it out to be some big romantic thing. The issue there is lying to your friends not having sex with them.

This guy actually brings up a good point, and that's that sex and being 'romantically involved' don't even go hand in hand. There are people who maintain friends with benefits setups that work, there are swingers who sleep with strangers that they wouldn't even want to socialize with long term, there are people who maintain a long term romantic relationship that doesn't involve sex at all, all kinds of people out there.

[Skippy88]

*Looks at some of my female friends*

I certainly hope not but I can certainly see it happening.

[Exaelitus]

It's not inevitable, it's just more convenient than meeting somebody new. I have a a lot of female friends, but I generally just date their friends, so the need doesn't come up very often.