Dealing with depression

[Phildozer]

I've been suffering from crippling depression for the past 5 or 6 years and it's always been something I thought I could manage on my own. That all changed a few months ago when my girlfriend of 2 years who I genuinely loved and wanted to spend the rest of my life with left me because I am depressed. I had our engagement ring halfway paid off and before this happened I was starting to feel like I finally had something to live for. Ever since the day she broke up with me which really seemed to come out of nowhere because she always knew about my depression she has completely ignored all of my attempts to speak with her. Literally no response at all. This completely destroyed me because when she went through difficult times I was always there for her and I slipped into the darkest place I'd ever been mentally. I made the mistake of trying to tell her through an email that I was thinking about suicide, explaining to her that it was about much more than just a break up. She took this as me just doing this for attention and told me to leave her alone or she would call the police.

Not long after that my car's engine blew and I was not financially prepared to get a new one. I've been without a car and the girl I love for about 6 months now and I feel completely worthless. I have no friends and no one to talk to about the way my mental state has deteriorated. The only person who I feel could help me is her and she just ignores me. I basically sit here alone in my room all day now thinking about where my life could have been headed in comparison to where it is now. This is really affecting my life at work too, people have started to notice that I am depressed, something I have always been very good at hiding. When I'm in public I put on this mask of being a funny guy who likes to joke around with everyone but that mask is cracking and people are seeing through it. I'm sure my boss notices this and now I'm being passed over for every promotion that comes up. I'm in a pretty hopeless place and while I realize many people have it worse than me...I am not them. I am the one living my life and I feel stuck. I don't even have the energy or motivation to get out of bed anymore unless I have to go to work. I genuinely don't know what to do anymore. I guess I'm just looking for advice because it seems like everyone I try to talk to in "the real world" about it just ignores me or dismisses this as just being heart broken.

[chrisberb]

I've been suffering from crippling depression for the past 5 or 6 years and it's always been something I thought I could manage on my own. That all changed a few months ago when my girlfriend of 2 years who I genuinely loved and wanted to spend the rest of my life with left me because I am depressed. I had our engagement ring halfway paid off and before this happened I was starting to feel like I finally had something to live for. Ever since the day she broke up with me which really seemed to come out of nowhere because she always knew about my depression she has completely ignored all of my attempts to speak with her. Literally no response at all. This completely destroyed me because when she went through difficult times I was always there for her and I slipped into the darkest place I'd ever been mentally. I made the mistake of trying to tell her through an email that I was thinking about suicide, explaining to her that it was about much more than just a break up. She took this as me just doing this for attention and told me to leave her alone or she would call the police.

Not long after that my car's engine blew and I was not financially prepared to get a new one. I've been without a car and the girl I love for about 6 months now and I feel completely worthless. I have no friends and no one to talk to about the way my mental state has deteriorated. The only person who I feel could help me is her and she just ignores me. I basically sit here alone in my room all day now thinking about where my life could have been headed in comparison to where it is now. This is really affecting my life at work too, people have started to notice that I am depressed, something I have always been very good at hiding. When I'm in public I put on this mask of being a funny guy who likes to joke around with everyone but that mask is cracking and people are seeing through it. I'm sure my boss notices this and now I'm being passed over for every promotion that comes up. I'm in a pretty hopeless place and while I realize many people have it worse than me...I am not them. I am the one living my life and I feel stuck. I don't even have the energy or motivation to get out of bed anymore unless I have to go to work. I genuinely don't know what to do anymore. I guess I'm just looking for advice because it seems like everyone I try to talk to in "the real world" about it just ignores me or dismisses this as just being heart broken.

Sounds like you need some real help, and you WON'T get it here.

[Alter Ego Pablo]

Why are you even depressed in the first place?

[The One Percent]

I always try to turn my sorrow into rage, and then use my rage for something productive, like the gym. Basically I bundle all my sorrow into a tight ball in my chest, then focus it outwards. You'll either get a great workout or become a spree killer.

[2legit2quit]

Family members not an option? If not, then definitely professional help.

[Deleted]

I've been suffering from crippling depression

Your posting history sure tells a completely different story. Also...

90 percent of posters on mmo-champion these days are just whining about something, are we adults here or did this become kindergarten-champion?

But seriously. I smell a rat here. You've been having a blast in WoW judging by your posts from the past few months. Your posts don't reflect a "crippling depression" or huge life changes such as being dumped, at all.

Still, if you seriously are having problems, this sure as hell isn't the place to talk about them.

[Dendrek]

Why are you even depressed in the first place?

That's rarely a simple question to answer. Besides, in some cases, obvious and severely traumatic events that cause sudden onset depression, for a lot of people depression builds up, and therefore has lots of reasons, over time. Don't mistake depression for extreme sadness. That would be like saying an alcoholic is someone who likes to drink a lot.

[Deleted]

You make it sound like you are a victim.

Also not really crippling depression if you had a girlfriend and managed to have a job.

[draganid]

Why are you even depressed in the first place?

there doesnt have to be a reason for depression, could easily be a chemical/hormonal imbalance in the brain.

nothing any armchair shrink can do for him. op needs to see a real shrink, its not like we can prescribe you meds or anything

[Dendrek]

You make it sound like you are a victim.

Also not really crippling depression if you had a girlfriend and managed to have a job.

^ This is a perfect example of why asking for help online, especially to non-professionals, is unhelpful. Debates about semantics or severity are unproductive. The only advice that you should get and can receive from this website is simple: seek real, professional help. Go to your local (mental) health center, or call a depression hotline. Easier said than done, I know. But it's obvious that you are seeking help -- you wouldn't be posting here if you weren't. It will take a quick search to find the actual help you need.

[Deleted]

^ This is a perfect example of why asking for help online, especially to non-professionals, is unhelpful.

That's the whole point.

[DechCJC]

I don't know what I can say that can truly help you, I wouldn't say i've been clinically depressed in the past but i've been extremely suicidal more than once, i've just wanted to give up and throw in the towel more times than I can count - Sometimes it just doesn't seem like it's worth it, sometimes I wish i was anything but a human - We have so many responsibilities compared to other creatures on earth, so many standards that we're risen to live up to and if you don't meet them you're considered a failure.

The last thing you want to hear is "Get off your ass and deal with it" - Quite possibly one of the the worst thing that you could say to someone in your position; But what's the best thing to say? That's a good question, words can't really cure this problem. Whenever I feel down I look for comfort in other people to tell me that it'll be alright and it usually just ends in them thinking that i'm a self pitying twat, purely looking for attention. For me personally I've found that simply realizing that no matter how grim life may be at one point, or how hopeless your future may seem or whatever it happens to be - You're one creature on this planet simply trying to live your life, it doesn't matter how you do it - In the big picture, you're completely insignificant, practically everything you will ever do will have little to no effect on anything - There's zero point in feeling bad about everything. Sure, it's very easy to hate life, to wish that things could be better and to question what the point of it all is; But it doesn't actually do anything for you, at all, nothing. I just try to look at it this way, the chances that i'm going to be feeling this down for the rest of my life is extremely unlikely, so I may as well just take a deep breath and remember that no matter how shit things are, it doesn't matter at all; You WILL feel better eventually so there's zero point wasting this time now feeling bad. Whenever i'm REALLY feeling down, a freezing cold shower usually snaps me out of it and puts me into a better mood for a limited time (It's actually been scientifically proven to help with depression), exercise can help for a short time as well but ultimately that's all these things really are, a short term relief from stress.

Honestly, all of my words likely mean nothing to you if you're in your position, because quite frankly, you've very likely heard it all before. My suggestion is to fix it short term via the methods that I have suggested (if it works, it does for me anyway, though I don't know how serious your depression is) so that you can deal with current affairs (work, family etc) and then just try to remember that you will NOT always feel this way, somewhere along the line you'll feel better about it for whatever reason - Maybe you'll randomly snap out of it or something will happen to your life that will make you feel better about it, but either way, you WILL feel better eventually.

[Lazuli]

Your posting history sure tells a completely different story. Also...



But seriously. I smell a rat here. You've been having a blast in WoW judging by your posts from the past few months. Your posts don't reflect a "crippling depression" or huge life changes such as being dumped, at all.

Still, if you seriously are having problems, this sure as hell isn't the place to talk about them.

Post history means nothing tbh, I'm struggle with addiction but MMO champ isn't my go-to place for help lol. We usually put a mask on not to feel pity from others, and it seems something compelled OP to finally make a post asking for help. I also use the internet to forget my problems, not to convey them.

Which btw, you probably won't find help here. Me personally... I lock myself away in my room like you said and try to avoid people who make my life hell. Aren't there free help hotlines? I learned long ago that it is not worth falling in love, that shit destroyed my life I didn't leave my house for 3 years other than work and I became very quiet, something I am not known for. That experience has scarred me for life.

Bitches ain't nothin but hoes and tricks, mayne. Play more WoW, talk to people.

[Deleted]

^ This is a perfect example of why asking for help online, especially to non-professionals, is unhelpful. Debates about semantics or severity are unproductive. The only advice that you should get and can receive from this website is simple: seek real, professional help. Go to your local (mental) health center, or call a depression hotline. Easier said than done, I know. But it's obvious that you are seeking help -- you wouldn't be posting here if you weren't. It will take a quick search to find the actual help you need.

Pretty much this.

Most people here haven't experienced a real depression, so they don't know how hard certain things become.

[Deleted]

Stop being so EMO and seeing yourself as a victim would be a good start. Being EMO and waking up to the real world is not a depression. jeez, I swear 90% of youth today are apparently "depressed"

[Deleted]

I had a nervous breakdown following a prolonged period of intense stress recently. I started suffering from severe anxiety and depression, and it got so bad that I, for an entire week, was confined to my bed, where I spent most of my time crying, being generally terrified, and just wanting it all to end. It go so bad that I tried getting myself enrolled as a patient in a psychiatric ward, but of course they saw through my symptoms, and I was denied entry.
Two long days later I met up with a professional psychiatrist who diagnosed me in a matter of seconds, wrote out a prescription and there we go. I started taking the medication the next morning, and since then, for last 4-5 weeks I've been absolutely fine.

There is no such thing as a mild depression. If you have been able to handle it for years and years without it significantly reducing your quality of life - I'm sorry, you may be in a foul mood most of the time, but it's hardly a depression. Depression is a term that's misused even more than terms like 'gay' and so on.

If you believe you are suffering from actual depression, know that it is a clinical disease of the mind that can be diagnosed and treated just like a flu. I would strongly advice you to get in touch with a psychiatrist or psychologist and try to figure out what it is that's causing you to suffer in the way you seem to think you are. If they believe something is wrong they will give you the treatment that you need, and you will start feeling better and be able to get on with your life.

Now, I know this is not the post that you want to read at all, I know that you might be partial to protest and tell me how wrong I am, and that I have no justification at all to explain to you how you feel, but there are several things in the post you wrote that points towards you not being depressed, but that something else is wrong.
You say that you 'Put on the mask of being a funny guy' - Now, I like to think of myself as a genuinely funny guy in real life, although I might seem like a bitch right now. If you are capable of doing this, you are not suffering from a depression, however I believe that what is making you sad and uncomfortable in your everyday life is that you're not being yourself. I think you're afraid to be honest with people around you, you're afraid of admitting to how you feel, and you fear that others will look down on you if you tell them how you really feel. I think that you are putting yourself under and unnecessary amount of pressure because you think you can only be honest with yourself, and not the world around you.

I think you need to confront these skeletons in your closet, and get rid of them at long last.

My advice;

1; Seek professional help. If they cannot help you, know that nothing is horribly wrong with you. They won't say that you're okay if you're not okay, that's not how they work.

2; Confront yourself, and people around you, tell them how you feel, or just find someone that you trust to begin with. I strongly believe that the root of your problems are not based on a depression, but on you in general. I think you're putting yourself in a negative light, and it's this pressure inside that's making you feel horrible.

Take it or leave it.

[IKT]

I guess I'm just looking for advice because it seems like everyone I try to talk to in "the real world" about it just ignores me or dismisses this as just being heart broken.

Most people don't know how to handle depression, there's no quick fix, it's all on you.

And again, as someone with depression, the fix is all on me and you and the millions of others with depression to get through it.

Here's a story:

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.co...-part-two.html

[Dendrek]

The previous two posts make me facepalm. Way to diagnose someone after 2 paragraphs.

[Edit] I'm slow, I meant the two posts above IKT's.
[Edit again] Even if it's not depression that the OP is experiencing, your replies/suggestions will practically never succeed for anyone who says they're suffering depression -- real or not. Your attempts at help will, if taken seriously, more than likely have the opposite effect. So if you really were genuinely trying to help, I hope you consider what I just wrote.

[crawdaddy029]

I've been suffering from crippling depression for the past 5 or 6 years and it's always been something I thought I could manage on my own. That all changed a few months ago when my girlfriend of 2 years who I genuinely loved and wanted to spend the rest of my life with left me because I am depressed. I had our engagement ring halfway paid off and before this happened I was starting to feel like I finally had something to live for. Ever since the day she broke up with me which really seemed to come out of nowhere because she always knew about my depression she has completely ignored all of my attempts to speak with her. Literally no response at all. This completely destroyed me because when she went through difficult times I was always there for her and I slipped into the darkest place I'd ever been mentally. I made the mistake of trying to tell her through an email that I was thinking about suicide, explaining to her that it was about much more than just a break up. She took this as me just doing this for attention and told me to leave her alone or she would call the police.

Not long after that my car's engine blew and I was not financially prepared to get a new one. I've been without a car and the girl I love for about 6 months now and I feel completely worthless. I have no friends and no one to talk to about the way my mental state has deteriorated. The only person who I feel could help me is her and she just ignores me. I basically sit here alone in my room all day now thinking about where my life could have been headed in comparison to where it is now. This is really affecting my life at work too, people have started to notice that I am depressed, something I have always been very good at hiding. When I'm in public I put on this mask of being a funny guy who likes to joke around with everyone but that mask is cracking and people are seeing through it. I'm sure my boss notices this and now I'm being passed over for every promotion that comes up. I'm in a pretty hopeless place and while I realize many people have it worse than me...I am not them. I am the one living my life and I feel stuck. I don't even have the energy or motivation to get out of bed anymore unless I have to go to work. I genuinely don't know what to do anymore. I guess I'm just looking for advice because it seems like everyone I try to talk to in "the real world" about it just ignores me or dismisses this as just being heart broken.

I had the girl I love leave me for another guy. How did I get over it the pain and depression I felt? I made sure I was not in any attempt to get her back when I was talking with her, however I knew how things would go during this talk that I had with her. At the end of our talk I started making out with her (she was still with this other guy) what she didn't know was I recorded the whole thing and then sent it to the other guy. The next day she told me she tried to kill herself after what I did. Finally, after 2 months of agony the power had shifted and I felt like a million bucks.

Do something similar, bet it makes you feel better knowing that she feels the way you feel now.

[Woakerio]

I highly recommend seeing a psychologist/psychiatrist. It helps a lot to have an unbiased professional to talk to that usually won't judge you; medicines like adderall or antidepressants can turn your life around, just be sure to research them first to make an informed decision if/which one is best for you.

I was put on adderall for depression/motivation problems and ADD, and my life literally did a 180. I'm now doing things I need to do and I'm more optimistic and happy, and I lost nearly 100 pounds (I was pretty overweight before).