The obsession with communication

[OneSent]

This is a fascinating topic and the results of the OP's anecdotal experiment are certainly indicative of a growing problem.

Personally, I find it ironic that in the face of a "communication obsessed" society, people seem to be more distant and evasive towards one another than perhaps any other time in human history. I've noticed this a great deal as I've spent the past few weeks tagging along with my mother while she did her holiday shopping.

I observed people very closely during this time and the majority of them seemed to treat others with utter contempt; as nothing more than an obstacle in their all-great purpose of buying unnecessary shit. Out in the real world, I observed a public that was eerily silent. A stark contrast to what we see online or in the text world.

I think social media sites, as well as the internet as a whole, are responsible for creating this illusion that we are more open to communication than we really are. But the way I see it, we are not obsessed with communication, but rather with the feedback we get from what we type and say.

We are obsessed with the news, obsessed with what is going on in other people's lives. We are obsessed with posting, tweeting and blogging every minute of our own lives. But, very rarely during these pointless, everyday ramblings do we seem interested in the actual exchange of ideas and feelings unless they positively boost our ego and self-esteem.

Perhaps we've reached a point where the only way we can communicate with one another is through a computer or cellphone. Actual face-to-face communication seems to be fading out. At least where people outside of our families and circle of friends is concerned.

[Tastyfish]

Does this include the need to express your opinion on everything too?
Over communication of your personal beliefs seems to be a huge issue too.

[Mavecryst]

This is a fascinating topic and the results of the OP's anecdotal experiment are certainly indicative of a growing problem.

Personally, I find it ironic that in the face of a "communication obsessed" society, people seem to be more distant and evasive towards one another than perhaps any other time in human history. I've noticed this a great deal as I've spent the past few weeks tagging along with my mother while she did her holiday shopping.

I observed people very closely during this time and the majority of them seemed to treat others with utter contempt; as nothing more than an obstacle in their all-great purpose of buying unnecessary shit. Out in the real world, I observed a public that was eerily silent. A stark contrast to what we see online or in the text world.

I think social media sites, as well as the internet as a whole, are responsible for creating this illusion that we are more open to communication than we really are. But the way I see it, we are not obsessed with communication, but rather with the feedback we get from what we type and say.

We are obsessed with the news, obsessed with what is going on in other people's lives. We are obsessed with posting, tweeting and blogging every minute of our own lives. But, very rarely during these pointless, everyday ramblings do we seem interested in the actual exchange of ideas and feelings unless they positively boost our ego and self-esteem.

Perhaps we've reached a point where the only way we can communicate with one another is through a computer or cellphone. Actual face-to-face communication seems to be fading out. At least where people outside of our families and circle of friends is concerned.

Where the hell do you live? O.o It's been very different for me while I was out shopping. Sure you get the usual impatient shoppers but I get more friendly greetings compared to the rest of the year, random people just wishing me or at least the storeowners "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Holidays". Smiles seem to come more easily as it's less "weird" to make a friendly gesture during this period.

[ComputerNerd]

You chose to behave completely out of character, to cut off communication with family members without warning or explanation, and then wonder why the police were contacted.

I will agree that people incorrectly feel that lots of communication makes someone social, when I would call being social is about communication when you could otherwise avoid it easily.

Anyone can walk past a bunch of people in the street and not say a single thing.
A polite gesture from a stranger I think is way more important than communicating with people you know 100 times a day.

Take the example of anti-social behaviour, which can be frequent and shared with lots of people if loud enough.
That sort of frequent and wide-spread communication is in another context called being social, but obviously when it is rude or offensive is not the case.
Therefore the quality of communication and the desire to not limit it to expected or pre-determined channels is way more important, and what makes you social or not.

Blizzard are criticised often for killing the social aspect of the game, when there are more means of being exposed to random people than ever.
Yet the choice of many players is not to say a single thing.
The community is anti-social, not the game.

[Lightwysh]

I think the appeal of social media and constant contact will wear off eventually. At least I hope so with every fiber of my being.

And now my rant:

When the news does a 15 minute piece on some no-names twitter snafu, it just makes me sad. I give zero fucks about what some psuedo celeb thinks.

I don't want to see everyone's status on Facebook every 15minutes. "Just ordered a sandwich". I mean really that's nice and all but nobody cares. Also the 85 pages of random hot topic of the week shit you liked, nobody cares.

Sure it has it's place, but people have just taken to attention e-whoring. That's 99% of social medias purpose.

You had no life prior to social media. 15 pictures of your cat does make you any more popular.

Also people who think their quantity of friends means anything. It really doesn't. Oh, you have 200 Facebook friends, how many if them have you actually had direct conversation with in the last 3 months.

And texting, a text should never warrant immediate response. If you give zero fucks about calling me, don't expect an immediate response. If it's really urgent you can use your grown up words and talk to me.

[belfpala]

And texting, a text should never warrant immediate response. If you give zero fucks about calling me, don't expect an immediate response. If it's really urgent you can use your grown up words and talk to me.

Woah, anger.

Texts are misused by a lot of people. But they are very useful.

Me: "Still on for 10pm?"
15 minutes pass.
Friend: "Yup."

That's a typical text conversation for me. Why bother calling about that?

[Lightwysh]

Woah, anger.

Texts are misused by a lot of people. But they are very useful.

Me: "Still on for 10pm?"
15 minutes pass.
Friend: "Yup."

That's a typical text conversation for me. Why bother calling about that?

Even 15 minutes is asking a bit much. I may not see my phone or hear the text chime for upwards of an hour as I don't constantly have my phone in my hand or pocket. Or maybe I'm at work and can't reply right away. If your texting me at 9pm about meeting at 10pm and your expecting a reasonable response timeframe, Why not just call?

Now if you sent that text at noon, it would be reasonable to expect a response by 9pm.

[Biggles Worth]

I actually just go to someones house or mail them an actual letter.

[belfpala]

Even 15 minutes is asking a bit much.
Now if you sent that text at noon, it would be reasonable to expect a response by 9pm.

I'm not expecting 15 minutes. I'm expecting it by about the time I'm getting ready to go, which would be about 9. I'm also not sending it at 9. It'll be much earlier.

The point being: the conversation is so stupidly short that calling is silly. And if you don't have your phone anyway, as you said, a text is appropriate; it's more work for you to listen to my voicemail than to read my short text.

[Gheld]

I'm not expecting 15 minutes. I'm expecting it by about the time I'm getting ready to go, which would be about 9. I'm also not sending it at 9. It'll be much earlier.

The point being: the conversation is so stupidly short that calling is silly. And if you don't have your phone anyway, as you said, a text is appropriate; it's more work for you to listen to my voicemail than to read my short text.

Or, if the question is "What are you doing tonight?"

You might not immediately remember if you have any errands to run, so if somebody calls and asks that you might commit to plans that you can't keep. Whereas if you receive that question in text you have time to wait to respond until you are absolutely sure you're not forgetting something.

I'm sorry to all the "*HEAVY BREATHING* I love the sound of voices..." people, but in 99.9% of situations where people feel compelled to communicate about something with another person, texting is the superior option. There will always be a place for phone calls and letters (well maybe not letters. Cutting down trees for the sake of preserving "traditional communication" just doesn't strike me as good citizenship. ) but in the vast majority of the situation being able to communicate candidly, and clearly is superior quality.

Nobody likes when they are waiting in line at the grocery store, which is a defensive posture inducing experience as it is, and then some dickwad right beside them whips out his cell phone "YEAH. I'M AT THE STORE... AT THE STORE... THE STORE... YEAH... FRUITLOOPS... YEAH... OKAY.... NO.... YEAH HE SAYS IT'S NOTHING TO BE CONCERNED ABOUT. WHICH ONE? OKAY. PUT HER ON THE PHONE THEN. LOVE YOU TOO"

For starters: If this was in the wild, giving up that much information freely would have gotten your ass eaten by a bear a long time ago.

Secondly, hearing only one side of a conversation is obnoxious, infuriating for most people even. just because of the very nature of the human brain and how it handles incomplete information.

Thirdly: 99.9999999999% of the time somebody is on the phone, the volume of voice they are using is not warranted by the level of importance of the information they are attempting to convey. Nobody cares about your fruitloops, nobody cares about your dog's tumor, and nobody cares if you love your wife or not. If you really need to have an in depth verbal conversation about it all, then you're a dick for not waiting to have it in person when you can offer the person your undivided attention.