I don't know where else to go. I'm sorry for posting this here on a gaming forum but I have deleted every other social media account I have ever created. I'm lost and I don't know what to do any more. I can't call anyone in case I don't go through with it because if anyone knew about it then I would never be allowed to do my job again and my life would feel even more useless. I just need help, I'm lost, I need someone to talk to. Someone to tell me everything is going to be ok. My head and chest hurt from crying all the time and it only gets worse when I don't because I have to force myself to hold it back in front of other people so they don't notice me. It hurts so much. I've never felt anything like this in my entire life. I just want it to end. I can't keep living like this. It's been over three weeks since all of this started but now that I look back my entire life has been built up to this moment, to the point where I can now see that everything that I have ever done has been completely useless. I can't stop crying. I can't stop thinking about it. It hurts so much. I've never felt so alone and helpless.