Would you date people who have kids?

[Rooskie1993]

Now I didn't know how to name this thread accurately but let me expand on it a bit more.

Would you date someone who is a single parent when you are not a parent yourself, mainly directed towards people in their 20s since I have seen a fair few single mums on dating websites who have usually 1 kid between 2-5 years old, it's usually a deal breaker for me but have since changed my mind on the scenario.

I can get if you're single when you're older finding people who don't have kids make it harder and at that point it doesn't really matter though because their kids are already grown up, but this would basically be raising someone elses kid when you yourself are still in your early/mid 20s.

TL;DR if you're in your 20s would you date someone seriously who had kids basically raising them as your own if things got really serious.

[Elim Garak]

Depends on the reason a woman is a single mom. But the general rule of thumb is to avoid single moms. They are single probably for a reason that you wouldn't like.

[Deleted]

No. If she has a kid and not married/with the father she failed at life. I'm going to sustain her life failures and raise another guy's kid(s). Before there was child support and welfare for single moms the majority of them would give the kid to adoption since ~10% of heterosexual couples are infertile and can't have a kid of their own.

[morpen]

No, it's like starting from someone else's saved game

[Ergar]

No. I fucking hate kids.

[Faesroll]

No. If she has a kid and not married/with the father she failed at life.

You can't be serious

[Cosmic Janitor]

Oh it's this one again.

Well for the most part no. There are some very special exceptions where I might make an exception, but for the most part, no.

[Tommy T]

Depends on the reason a woman is a single mom. But the general rule of thumb is to avoid single moms. They are single probably for a reason that you wouldn't like.

Yes, they have someone else's kids.
That's generally the reason.

I generally dislike kids. I would want my own, but have no interest in raising somebody else's.

[Deleted]

at our age it's a pretty pivotal character flaw if you've decided to have a child and leave the father in what has to be a relatively short timeframe. (imo, here in europe, when you have kids it's a decision.. we have fewer religious crazydoodles over here than in murica)

So I'm inclined to say no.. on the other hand, finding someone you truly love(which again, is unlikely because of aforementioned character flaw) .. then, yes I would. Not neccisarily saying I believe in one true love.. but there are only so many people you can live with and be happy with, and they're hard to find.

[Alydael]

Now I didn't know how to name this thread accurately but let me expand on it a bit more.

Would you date someone who is a single parent when you are not a parent yourself, mainly directed towards people in their 20s since I have seen a fair few single mums on dating websites who have usually 1 kid between 2-5 years old, it's usually a deal breaker for me but have since changed my mind on the scenario.

I can get if you're single when you're older finding people who don't have kids make it harder and at that point it doesn't really matter though because their kids are already grown up, but this would basically be raising someone elses kid when you yourself are still in your early/mid 20s.

TL;DR if you're in your 20s would you date someone seriously who had kids basically raising them as your own if things got really serious.

If I was still dating it wouldn't necessarily be a deal breaker (depends on the situation/ girl, etc). There are (at least) a couple of things to consider:

1) Kids are very expensive (I have 2). You might as well drill a whole in your wallet, it never ends...

2) Are you comfortable with the kid's dad (if he is still around) being around and being around your girl?

3) Do you like the kid? If you enjoy spending time with the kid, the kid will be a plus instead of a deal breaker.

Kids are great. My favorite part of the day is actually hanging with my daughters. Not sure if I was in my early 20's if I would date someone with a kid, I just wasn't in the "having a kid" mindset.

[Elim Garak]

Yes, they have someone else's kids.
That's generally the reason

Nope. That's not generally a reason because that's hardly an issue if you are considering dating a single mom to begin with. Right?

[Deleted]

You can't be serious

Yes I am. Being a single mother is a good indication she doesn't understand how relationships work. Some people learn from other misstakes, some people make the misstakes. W/o big daddy govt. giving her welfare majority of single mothers wouldn't be able to raise the kid. So then why did they have the kid? Because they didn't wanted it and it was a misstake!

[Deleted]

Yes. Good girls fall in love with jackasses too, and if she broke up with a jackass after she got pregnant, why wouldn't she deserve a second chance?
Besides, I don't particularly want kids of my own, so if a kid would stop her from pestering me with having one, all the better

[Idoru]

at our age it's a pretty pivotal character flaw if you've decided to have a child and leave the father in what has to be a relatively short timeframe. (imo, here in europe, when you have kids it's a decision.. we have fewer religious crazydoodles over here than in murica)

So I'm inclined to say no.. on the other hand, finding someone you truly love(which again, is unlikely because of aforementioned character flaw) .. then, yes I would. Not neccisarily saying I believe in one true love.. but there are only so many people you can live with and be happy with, and they're hard to find.

Yes I am. Being a single mother is a good indication she doesn't understand how relationships work. Some people learn from other misstakes, some people make the misstakes. W/o big daddy govt. giving her welfare majority of single mothers wouldn't be able to raise the kid. So then why did they have the kid? Because they didn't wanted it and it was a misstake!

There are a million reasons for a mother (even a young one) to be alone with her child, and they are all her own fault, right?
Damn, you are so deluded.

[Alydael]

at our age it's a pretty pivotal character flaw if you've decided to have a child and leave the father in what has to be a relatively short timeframe. (imo, here in europe, when you have kids it's a decision.. we have fewer religious crazydoodles over here than in murica)

So I'm inclined to say no.. on the other hand, finding someone you truly love(which again, is unlikely because of aforementioned character flaw) .. then, yes I would. Not neccisarily saying I believe in one true love.. but there are only so many people you can live with and be happy with, and they're hard to find.

I wouldn't be so judgemental. Life happens, people make mistakes (although I wouldn't consider having a kid a mistake, maybe she just picked the wrong guy to do it with), etc. We are all guilty of it at some point.

That being said this is a very situational question. It is hard to know what to advise without knowing the total situation. For example: what if you really love the girl, you really love the kid and the woman is really hot and has a ton of money......

If you are emotionally ready for the possibility of being part of a kid's life (you may not be, I wasn't in my early 20's) then don't let it be a deal breaker. Go on a date and see how it goes. If she is a good mom, she probably won't introduce you to the child for a while anyway, she has to be able to really trust you for you to meet the kid.

[ParanoiD84]

Yes i have done that but it's never serious just fun.

[Elim Garak]

Yes. Good girls fall in love with jackasses too, and if she broke up with a jackass after she got pregnant, why wouldn't she deserve a second chance?

Because sometimes it's the mother who's a jackass.

[Alydael]

No, it's like starting from someone else's saved game

So, you never started from someone else's "saved game?" I used to use my cousin and brother's saves all the time....

[Self Inflicted Wounds]

It depends on how many, and how she interacts with those kids to be honest. One or maybe two children would be okay with me. But if she wasn't a devoted mother, then its a no. 3+ is too many.

[monkmastaeq]

single moms are good for an easy lay, but date one fuck no, kinda like fat chicks