What's your personal deal breaker in a relationship?

[Deleted]

Catching her poking holes in my condoms. Assuming that I actually love the person and we'd be going out seriously to start with (wouldn't go out with most personalities, never with an overweight person, etc) this is pretty much the only thing. I could probably put up with most things, like cheating (not really a big believer in monogamy, and I've had sex with girls despite loving another one), drugs (I've used/tried them a bit myself, if someone I loved had issues with it I'd help her get out of it instead, smoking inside would be a pain though), religion (well, if they can't handle me arguing about it they'd probably dump me though, I love arguing:P) and 'bad' humour (but if they don't like black humor we probably wouldn't start going out in the first place).

Getting a kid right now would ruin my life though, I couldn't handle not travelling and I'm currently a student (I'd find not using protection a far bigger 'betrayal' than cheating on me).

[shimerra]

This seems like a sort of false equivalence for the same of seeming neutral. I think I'm the most extreme atheist I've ever met, and the full extent of my extremism seems to manifest as, "I think you're wrong".

*shrug*

I guess I wouldn't want to date Mao.

Perhaps obnoxious would be the better word, but nit picking aside I'm sure you knew exactly what the person meant.The person who is comparable to the vegan who can't watch you eat a burger without some inane rambling list of talking points about how animal are people too and you're hurting the environment. The kind of people who make me wish there is a God not because I care if there is or want there to be one but just so they can be wrong.

Yes there are atheists out there who are equally annoying as the jackasses at my school telling me Jesus Saves and to not look gay people in the eye lest i catch it.

[Aeluron Lightsong]

Dear girls. Deal breakers ahead.

-Smoking
-Cheating on me
-Doing Drugs of any kind. Weed included, IDC
-Very questionable morality
-Out of shape or fat etc etc(Don't hate!)
-Bad personality(Hateful etc etc)

-Plays Horde



Ok the last one may be exaggerated.

[Jazara]

-Plays Horde



Ok the last one may be exaggerated.

Haha after I got married, my husband and I were at a bar talking to some people we just met, and a guy said something along those lines. I had to pull my hair to the side and show him my undateableness (lol) I have the horde insignia tattooed on my upper back. The look of shock from everyone was priceless. I still don't know if it was because I play WoW, I'm obsessed enough to tattoo it on my body, or because it was horde haha

[Zhangfei]

Just from reading this thread, it seems like athiests are as intolerant as they believe religious people to be.

Of course they are. They're humans. Intolerance stems from an attitude of narrow-mindedness, not a particular belief system.

[Deleted]

This seems like a sort of false equivalence for the same of seeming neutral. I think I'm the most extreme atheist I've ever met, and the full extent of my extremism seems to manifest as, "I think you're wrong".

*shrug*

I guess I wouldn't want to date Mao.

The same way I wouldn't want someone to tell me of all the verses in whatever book they think is best and whatnot, the same I don't want someone to come and at every opportunity to tell me God doesn't exist and I shouldn't do X and Y. Because in my book, both are the same, both are someone trying to impose their beliefs on me.

I can accept if you say "I think you're wrong" to me. I think I'm right. And if after this we changed subject and never talked about it, we'd never have a problem. But if you see me making a cross when passing a church or you see... a tv stuff about God and you tell me I'm stupid, or God is stupid, or whatnot, keeping the same broken record... then you're as bad as the extremist religious people who try to say I should act this way or that way and must belive in a certain God/s, not other/s and so on.

So when I say extremist atheist I mean someone who tries to impose their point on others, you know like those different church cult people who come at your doors and such. Only this time with atheists. For example, there was a thread some time ago, can't remember about what alien nazi zombies, and someone said "God save us all" and someone responded with "lol, you're so stupid, God doesn't exist"... and that I consider an extreme atheist, someone who, at the even sight of the word "God" starts spewing his view and treats all those that belive in Him like inferior beings.
So as long as you don't belive people who belive in God are inferior stupid beings, you're not an extremist atheist. If you think the people who belive in God are just having a different opinion then yours and you accept that and don't try to convince them otherwise when they clearly don't want to, then there's no problem.

[Deleted]

Mine would be alone time or flirty behavior with (attractive) female friends or a female best friend. I wouldn't mind it too much if they are plain or obese or much older than him or relatives though But otherwise there will be an ultimatum, me or her. Sharing is something I dont do, I want everything!

[Liagala]

Stuff that would make me walk out on an otherwise good relationship and never look back? Use of any of the serious addictive drugs, violence directed at myself or my friends/family/pets, any argument that ends with him delivering a "me or X" type ultimatum, or a display of excessive jealousy, mistrust, and possessiveness. There are others, but they are things that grow up over time, or can be forgiven once or twice and worked on, etc. These are the only ones I can think of that can come up suddenly and will make me immediately write someone off no matter how good things have been.

I don't think I can even say mine because of the sexual nature lol

What about an unnatural love of soup?

[Spectral]

Perhaps obnoxious would be the better word, but nit picking aside I'm sure you knew exactly what the person meant.The person who is comparable to the vegan who can't watch you eat a burger without some inane rambling list of talking points about how animal are people too and you're hurting the environment. The kind of people who make me wish there is a God not because I care if there is or want there to be one but just so they can be wrong.

Yes there are atheists out there who are equally annoying as the jackasses at my school telling me Jesus Saves and to not look gay people in the eye lest i catch it.

I have never experienced any of these people. If they exist at all (and I'm quite skeptical), their numbers are absolutely trivial compared to their counterpart.

---------- Post added 2013-01-26 at 08:30 PM ----------

The same way I wouldn't want someone to tell me of all the verses in whatever book they think is best and whatnot, the same I don't want someone to come and at every opportunity to tell me God doesn't exist and I shouldn't do X and Y. Because in my book, both are the same, both are someone trying to impose their beliefs on me.

I can accept if you say "I think you're wrong" to me. I think I'm right. And if after this we changed subject and never talked about it, we'd never have a problem. But if you see me making a cross when passing a church or you see... a tv stuff about God and you tell me I'm stupid, or God is stupid, or whatnot, keeping the same broken record... then you're as bad as the extremist religious people who try to say I should act this way or that way and must belive in a certain God/s, not other/s and so on.

So when I say extremist atheist I mean someone who tries to impose their point on others, you know like those different church cult people who come at your doors and such. Only this time with atheists. For example, there was a thread some time ago, can't remember about what alien nazi zombies, and someone said "God save us all" and someone responded with "lol, you're so stupid, God doesn't exist"... and that I consider an extreme atheist, someone who, at the even sight of the word "God" starts spewing his view and treats all those that belive in Him like inferior beings.
So as long as you don't belive people who belive in God are inferior stupid beings, you're not an extremist atheist. If you think the people who belive in God are just having a different opinion then yours and you accept that and don't try to convince them otherwise when they clearly don't want to, then there's no problem.

This is why I think it's a false equivalence - I've never observed someone to behave in that fashion or anything remotely similar to that fashion. I've never even observed an atheist engaging someone on religion that didn't desire to engage. Maybe this exists somewhere, but it seems odd to me that I've seen hundreds of their putative counterpart, yet not a one of these strident, militant atheists that constantly tell people they're stupid.

[Aeluron Lightsong]

Mine would be alone time or flirty behavior with (attractive) female friends or a female best friend. I wouldn't mind it too much if they are plain or obese or much older than him or relatives though But otherwise there will be an ultimatum, me or her. Sharing is something I dont do, I want everything!

Sounds like me in a way. It burns you in the end though.

[Boogums]

STDs
/10 char

[Ghul]

Pretty much this.

It still baffles me at how many people still smoke today when he have proven facts that smoking not only shortens YOUR life, but people in the general vicinity.

actually, it hasnt really definitely been proven that lung cancer stands in direct correlation to smoking... and this comes from a smoke-hater ^^
yeah i know, theres those countless pictures of several forms of cancer, that are totally disgusting and all, but this is mostly just legal haterpropaganda...(anyone can post a picture of a desease and claim some sort of bad habit to have caused it ~~)
we dont know enough about cancer yet, in order to definitely determine the cause of it. even perfectly healthy people, who never touched a cigarette, can get lung cancer just like any other smoker.

ontopic: yes, smoking women are also a total dealbreaker for me. mostly because most women look kinda "trashy" to me, while they are smoking a cigarette. i also have these bad experiences of having smoke blown right into my face, or people smoking at the table while im still eating, wich made me despise every smoker(males included) by default. ofc im still giving those people a chance if they seem nice to me, but i'd never go for a lifelong commitment.

[Itisamuh]

I have never experienced any of these people. If they exist at all (and I'm quite skeptical), their numbers are absolutely trivial compared to their counterpart.

---------- Post added 2013-01-26 at 08:30 PM ----------



This is why I think it's a false equivalence - I've never observed someone to behave in that fashion or anything remotely similar to that fashion. I've never even observed an atheist engaging someone on religion that didn't desire to engage. Maybe this exists somewhere, but it seems odd to me that I've seen hundreds of their putative counterpart, yet not a one of these strident, militant atheists that constantly tell people they're stupid.

I've had the complete opposite experience. I've never personally known any of these hateful, judgmental religious zealots everyone goes on about, but basically every atheist I've talked with acts like a condescending prick if the subject comes up. I didn't put being an atheist on my list of deal breakers, because if they're quiet or at least modest about it I don't care what they believe, but I wouldn't tolerate getting snide remarks constantly. There's no excuse for that.

[Zhangfei]

I have never experienced any of these people. If they exist at all (and I'm quite skeptical), their numbers are absolutely trivial compared to their counterpart.

They're far more prevalent in Europe for one; and for two, try certain degrees at university. I've never encountered such hostility in my philosophy classes. Maybe it's the people I associate it with, but I know far, far more ardent and unnecessarily vocal atheists than I do Christians.

They absolutely exist and it's not a false equivalence. People screaming about Dawkins and Hitchens as gods.

I've had the complete opposite experience. I've never personally known any of these hateful, judgmental religious zealots everyone goes on about, but basically every atheist I've talked with acts like a condescending prick if the subject comes up.

My experience too. I knew one hateful religious zealot, to be fair.

[Aeluron Lightsong]

ontopic: yes, smoking women are also a total dealbreaker for me. mostly because most women look kinda "trashy" to me, while they are smoking a cigarette. i also have these bad experiences of having smoke blown right into my face, or people smoking at the table while im still eating, wich made me despise every smoker(males included) by default. ofc im still giving those people a chance if they seem nice to me, but i'd never go for a lifelong commitment.

Neither would I and Smoke smells horrible.

[-Skye]

Pretty much this.

It still baffles me at how many people still smoke today when he have proven facts that smoking not only shortens YOUR life, but people in the general vicinity.

As stupid as it sounds, peer pressure. One of my friends who's a good footballer and has trials for a low league team has started smoking recently. I tried all I could to stop him, I had many people tell him how bad it is. He started on 1 every few days. Now smokes 10+ a day. Why did he start? When we went for break in college, everyone in our class would spark up except for me him and someone else. He felt left out, now his chances at the football spot are lost. I laughed in his face and said I told you so. I feel mean.

[jouissance]

From my PoV, I do not try to "teach" someone Atheism, it is just futile.

These are the reasons me as Atheist + someone Religious would not work:

1. I dont want to raise my kids as religious. When they grow up, they can choose for themselves;
2. I dont want to hear arguments from the Bible, since I dont quote Hitchhikers Guide to Galaxy as some universal truth either;
3. I dont want someone to defer constantly to entities outside of our relationship on any issues of our relationship;
4. While there are different degrees and instances of religiousness, I simply could not take someone who truly believes Earth is 6k+ years old seriously, but on the other hand, if they do not truly believe that, I would see them as hypocrite towards their own faith (yes, I understand they cannot win with me, thats the whole issue);
5. I dont want them to ask god for things, I want them to ask me, or doctors, or lawyers, or, best option, rely only on themselves;
6. I dont want to feel pressure to participate in any religious rituals.

[Ciddy]

Smokers. I can't stand that smell at all. I've been inside houses/cars of people who smoke, and I always want to immediately wash my clothes and jump in the shower after I get out. There's no way I could live with a smoker.

Also anyone who couldn't accept my tastes in music.

I'm fine with things like tats and piercings as long as they're not excessive.

[Letmesleep]

I can accept if you say "I think you're wrong" to me. I think I'm right. And if after this we changed subject and never talked about it, we'd never have a problem. But if you see me making a cross when passing a church or you see... a tv stuff about God and you tell me I'm stupid, or God is stupid, or whatnot, keeping the same broken record... then you're as bad as the extremist religious people who try to say I should act this way or that way and must belive in a certain God/s, not other/s and so on.

I agree and I don't consider you a "pushy religious type". You've had plenty of opportunities to push religion on me and you never did; thank you for that. I respect your respect for other viewpoints.

I also believe people should be able to believe whatever they want without harassment, however there's no mistaking that religion, at least in my country, is partially responsible for a lack of personal freedom. Gay marriage, abortion, euthanasia, these are all social issues that are routinely voted down by religious types. I wouldn't have a single bone to pick with Christianity if I didn't feel like people were using their faith to limit the freedom of others. I wish we could all just let each other believe what we want, but the reality is laws are effected by the personal beliefs of those that vote for them. It's a sticky situation, because while I believe in freedom of religion and thought, people are using their freedom to limit other freedoms : /

Anyways, on topic (and unrelated to you, Arnorei):
My top three deal breakers would probably be smoking, wanting biological kids, and religion (I just don't think religious and non religious types have a good shot together in the long run).

[iggie]

Fat. Also smoking, excessive drinking.