Originally Posted by
SylvanaSlave
I agree it's not an ideal situation but if I'm being brutally honest part of the reason I am staying in contact with her partly is because my past three partner's cheated on me and we, as one may understand, did not stay in contact. I wanted this one to not end the same and be like the others. The bigger part of the reason is that my last partner knew me for who I really was and understood me, and still does. It's hard to explain but there was a far closer connection between us than my previous ones, a lot like how best friends might understand everything about each other.
Now, people's first reaction would be to say "GTFO of there now, you have other friends" and for most people you would be right, but the fact of the matter is, I have very few friends as it is (like, five, at a stretch) and she is the one who know's me as a whole person. If I cut her out altogether, I have no friends who really understand me. Sad, I know, but that's the state of my life at the moment. Getting over a breakup, like I have said all along, can be complicated by a whole host of reasons, that can make it difficult to just 'get over'.
And before anybody suggests it, no I will not go out and socialise with people on my own to make new friends off the cuff. I have a common form of social anxiety, combined with a particularly low sense of confidence, that proves to be an immense psychological obstacle that prevents me from finding the willpower to go out. It's not an excuse, it's a very real condition but one that unfortunately comes with a lot of unwanted criticism and stigma on forums from people who do not understand it. It is not something that is simply cured by 'just going out there and doing it'.
I'm not asking for sympathy, and especially not pity, I'm just being honest and telling it how it is. Nothing is ever as clean-cut and simple to solve as some like to imply.