Polyamory can be an alternative to cheating: Ellie

[Albert the fish]

I just didn't find any of your arguments compelling enough to sway my opinion.

than it isn't likely to work for you. and that's fine. it does however work for a massive swath of people just fine.

[Fencers]

So you can't or won't sleep around any more because it's too much work.

I can. I haven't.

Thanks for expressly stating that what you erstwhile argued worked, didn't work.

It's still working. We've had no issues and both are free to still pursue a sexual arrangement pending spousal approval. We just have been busy lately. Which I expressly stated.

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I can guarantee you that when your usefulness to him has ended, he will drop you like a bad habit. There is no way this is going to end well. Eventually one of you will hook up with someone else that will do everything better, and you'll leave. The success rate for relationships like this is less than 5%. Get it out of your system soon, before you have children.

We have two children. Married 14 years.

Pretty smooth sailing so far.

[Seirith]

Race and size differences.

What if I'm in the mood for an Asian, Hispanic, Black, what if I want a fatter woman or skinnier woman, what if I want shit I don't know someone who is prissy or someone more sexually adventurous (my nice way of saying slutty) so a difference in personality. I mean you can fake the mental stuff but if monday I want a BBW and tuesday I want someone anorexic what 1 woman could satisfy those desires?

Then you don't get into a relationship so that you can have all those different types of girls?

[Spectral]

I love both my kids. I love both my parents. I love my brother and my sister.

But with a woman love is suddenly different? Seems the problem is elsewhere, but not love. Unless you have different kinds of love. In that case...the problem is elsewhere....

Not having different kinds of love is a problem. If you're literally experiencing the same emotion every time you say "I love you" to someone, that's downright pathological.

Despite the philosophy being old, I think the Greeks have got this basically right. Eros is a lot different from the other emotions.

[Spectral]

That is actually an enlightening read. Including the definition of "eros". And the way I read it, I can still be in love with several woman at the same time. Which I have. You can scold me for it or say it is impossible, but since this is about very personal feelings, you just cannot judge it. You can say it cannot work for you, you can say you would not want to share in such a situation or understand it - it is all fair. Yet I have been in love with two women at the same time. Not a fun situation to be in....

Just for clarity, I'm not scolding you or claiming that's impossible at all (I know the feeling). Just saying that the English word "love" is actually a pretty half-assed descriptor and that one would expect to have very different experiences and expressions of love.

[Albert the fish]

Just for clarity, I'm not scolding you or claiming that's impossible at all (I know the feeling). Just saying that the English word "love" is actually a pretty half-assed descriptor and that one would expect to have very different experiences and expressions of love.

very very true.
his initial point remains however. why should we believe in being able to love multiple people by means of storge love or agape love but eros love is somehow constrained to only one?

[Seirith]

I love both my kids. I love both my parents. I love my brother and my sister.

But with a woman love is suddenly different? Seems the problem is elsewhere, but not love. Unless you have different kinds of love. In that case...the problem is elsewhere....

Those are totally different. I love my parents but I am not in love with them the same way I am with my husband. I have no romantic or sexual feelings for my parents. Do you really not understand or know the difference between love for family member and a romantic love?

[Fencers]

Those are totally different. I love my parents but I am not in love with them the same way I am with my husband. I have no romantic or sexual feelings for my parents. Do you really not understand or know the difference between love for family member and a romantic love?

This is probably caused by a lot of oxytocin that functions to create attachment when the chemical reactions for lust are initiated in a fitting mate.

There really is no difference between love for one person or another- it's just forms of attachment and sentiment as a result of chemical processes. It can be repeated too. There is no magic in the universe.

[Stelio Kontos]

I'd only ever even consider such a thing if it only applied to me, to be honest. I'm not interested in sharing my wife with anyone, period.

But since that would be hypocritical and unfair to expect, I wouldn't consider anything other than monogamy.

[Albert the fish]

I'd only ever even consider such a thing if it only applied to me, to be honest. I'm not interested in sharing my wife with anyone, period.

But since that would be hypocritical and unfair to expect, I wouldn't consider anything other than monogamy.

this is refreshingly honest and self-introspective

[Hctaz]

But yeah, if my girlfriend didn't want to do something like suck my dick, it would indeed prevent me from marrying her.

Okay well I'll go ahead and say this then: That right there. That's stupid as fuck. Sex is superficial. If you think she's hot and you can get off to her doing something and she's literally a perfect match for you in every regard of life that actually matters for the survival of yourself and future generations... why the fuck would you not marry her based on that one TIIIIINY thing?

And the reason he can't satisfy her sexually is probably because of doesn't like eating her out or some other fetish.

[The One Percent]

Okay well I'll go ahead and say this then: That right there. That's stupid as fuck. Sex is superficial. If you think she's hot and you can get off to her doing something and she's literally a perfect match for you in every regard of life that actually matters for the survival of yourself and future generations... why the fuck would you not marry her based on that one TIIIIINY thing?

And the reason he can't satisfy her sexually is probably because of doesn't like eating her out or some other fetish.

Sex is superficial, yet it is one of the biggest causes of relationships breaking up. I have had no reason to settle for anything less while still being successful with my relationships so you can think it's stupid as fuck all you want. I think the same of what you think.

[Jinpachi]

No, he's going to betray her any day now!

She must sunder the relationship NOW, before he can!

I would suggest the group he's using for his 5% figure is the people who have been mainlining this form of relationship propaganda since they started understanding language. Probably his own monkeysphere.

More reliable sources than any anecdotal bullshit these forums produce.

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It just shows an utter lack of respect for your partner. I'm not going to sacrifice for you, and im going to do whatever makes ME feel good, but lets marry and bring kids into our selfish little arrangement, where my spouse isn't even important enough for me to stay faithful to. But hey, if you find a sucker who's willing to go along with it, more power to ya.

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This is probably caused by a lot of oxytocin that functions to create attachment when the chemical reactions for lust are initiated in a fitting mate.

There really is no difference between love for one person or another- it's just forms of attachment and sentiment as a result of chemical processes. It can be repeated too. There is no magic in the universe.

So based on that statement, it's safe to assume you're pro-incest. Sad. Your worldview is way fucked up, im sorry for you.

[schwarzkopf]

In related news, boxing can be an alternative to violent sports.

[TheLimonTree]

Ten do this site a favor and stick to things you know shit about.

also don't breed for the good of humanity

[Jinpachi]

Not having different kinds of love is a problem. If you're literally experiencing the same emotion every time you say "I love you" to someone, that's downright pathological.

Despite the philosophy being old, I think the Greeks have got this basically right. Eros is a lot different from the other emotions.

Exactly. Eros and Agape are two very distinct things.

[Hctaz]

Sex is superficial, yet it is one of the biggest causes of relationships breaking up. I have had no reason to settle for anything less while still being successful with my relationships so you can think it's stupid as fuck all you want. I think the same of what you think.

Of course it is. People view sex and love as the same shit. If you love somebody you can't have sex with somebody else. The reasons relationships fall apart for sex isn't even because somebody can't fulfill your fantasies either. Little known fact: When you're fucking the same person for 10 years it gets a liiiiiiiittle boring. Heck after 7 months I usually am not as excited for it as I am the first two weeks. You just probably shouldn't ever get married basically is what I'm saying. Some people want to have sex with other people and their partner doesn't want that cuz they're jealous so they break up. That cannot be avoided simply by two people sharing identical interests in sex. Eventually somebody is going to get bored. People are just weak and care about superficial "This makes my dick feel good"s instead of what actually matters: your future.

[Drusin]

Then you don't get into a relationship so that you can have all those different types of girls?

Or I'll get into a relationship and have a mature conversation about sexual desires and see if my partner is up for it if not I guess I'll be jerking off quite a bit lol if so (which is the case) then I'm golden.

[PosPosPos]

Can never understand this unhealthy obsession with so-called monogamous relationships anyway.

I mean, if you want a monogamous relationship, good for you. But polygamy isn't any more evil or any less significant/meaningful than monogamy per se.

[The One Percent]

You just probably shouldn't ever get married basically is what I'm saying.

No shit. Marriage is fucking retarded.