So I had a one night stand last night and it felt like just going through the motions. It felt empty and meaningless for the first time ever, I have been feeling this way a lot recently, the thrill of the chase is gone and the allure of a married woman dead. I have had countless (lost count at 50 when I was 24) short relationships and one night stands. I am now a 36 year alcoholic with not much to live for (Iown a few houses, have a good career to fuel my hobbies but thats it) For the first time ever I feel like a proper relationship.
My sister told me to try online dating (my idea of this before was looking up escorts) and it was awash with women my age with children searching for a man with a good job to be a new father for their crotch fruit. Fuck that I don't want my own children (doing the world a favor here) let alone someone elses bad decision.
I have no problem picking up younger women but they are hardly relationship material.
Have I missed the boat with good women or should I go back to my old ways.
Or should I just off my self because life is pretty meh.